Meet the Hypocrite Me.

Yes indeed, don’t think I’m all nice & sweet, come meet the Hypocrite that is me.

I did today - and let me tell you, I wasn’t happy at all meeting her. But perhaps I should start at the beginning.

One of my closest friends is a guy named Cal. He’s as diametrically opposite to me as they come. Quiet, unassuming, ridiculously talented, doing well in life, yet simple and completely unworldly. He calls himself a “birder” (yes, I laughed at him the first time he said it) and enjoys going on hikes (why anyone would want to carry heavy loads on their backs & then walk uphill, to sleep on unclean surfaces is still a mystery to me!) and derives great pleasure in taking photographs of wild animals mating. Ok, perhaps the last thing isn’t entirely true, but you get the picture.

Sometime not too long ago Cal told me that he was off again “exploring”. I didn’t pay too much attention to it as he’s always off on some hike or the other almost every other weekend. However as the days neared for his trip (this one was to be a full blown 2 week thingie rather than the weekend things he usually does) I started getting a little concerned.

Why?

Because he was off to Srinagar, Leh, Ladakh, Kargil and other such places.

He left early Sunday morning - and suddenly all the unrest in Srinagar has become very personal to me.

Suddenly I find myself worried, praying, seriously anxious about Pakistan Army troops crossing violating the ceasefire along the LoC.

Suddenly I find myself reading up on so many places - are they safe? Is there unrest anywhere there? What’s in the news about this place right now?

(sign at Kashmir LoC - ‘Victory is still Measured by Foot’)

And then it struck me. Dear old I-thought-I-was-a-patriot me.

Me & Patriotic? Why of course!, I would have said earlier. I would proudly tell anyone that I am an Indian (except perhaps during certain long flights back to India with other Indian passengers). I stand still, not moving, my hands firm by my side for the Jana Gana Mana before every movie I watch in ridiculously overpriced Mumbai multiplexes. I inwardly grimace at some who cross their arms or who sit down too quickly during the anthem. I support our sports team, whatever the sport, ah how I was happy with Abhinav Bindra winning gold at the Olympics.

And all this went towards making me a good patriotic India. Or so I thought.

Until Hal went to Srinagar - and until I realized - horrified at my own hypocrisy - that I really didn’t care to even bother to pray for our troops before this.

As I read up in today’s papers about Pakistan violating the 2003 ceasefire agreement between India & Pakistan along the LoC - I found out that this has happened 22 times since just January this year. I realised that I didn’t even remember reading about the other 21 times - and if I did, I just didn’t bother because the ones who died weren’t known to me.

And I shudder. Because I realise each of our troops have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, lovers and friends.

They have lives, each of them is important to someone, many someones. Each one of them is someone’s Cal.

I meet the hypocrite that is me. I see her, thinking she is a good Indian because she knows the words to the National Anthem and because she cheers for the national team. But she doesn’t really care for the troops who’re protecting her country - she’s an urban brat, far removed from the military life of the north.

She has meetings to go to, parties to attend, blogs to write, photos to upload. Her friends have loads planned for the “long Independence weekend” that is coming up. She always plans ahead for those too.

I’m now looking at her and she is particularly loathsome to me. Superficial, hypocritical and non patriotic.

And the worst thing about it all, is that I don’t quite know how to change her.

I don’t know how, but I do know that I want to.

I don’t want to care about people who’re dying only when I know one of them. I don’t want to pray only when it’s someone I love. I don’t want not to read and not to know until it’s personal.

I don’t want to celebrate another Independence Day oblivious of what was done and was is being done to preserve our lives as we know it.

Here’s wishing you all a very happy Independence Day in advance. Here’s to the men who made it happen and who still protect us with their lives.

“I may sweat and might bleed,
But will not bow to their greed,
Yet my promises I shall keep,
Till, towards immortality, I take a leap.
Light of the experienced, the old,
And spirit of the young, the bold.
Have it all I need, to put…
Victory is still measured on foot!”
~ Lieutenant Praveen Bahl

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Update: Cal not only made it back safely (praise God), but he also started a blog to share his (amazing) pictures with the rest of us. Check out his blog here.