DND: I’m trying to have make up sex with my blog…

Why? Because my blog has been nagging majorly fighting with me that I’ve just not been paying it any attention any more, that there’s been nothing really worthwhile written on it for a while, that I’m not replying to comments - *and* worst of all - that I’m flirting having an illicit affair with (God forbid!) Facebook! (seriously darling, how could you even think that?!)

So, here I am, trying to convince you, my dear dear dear darling thevoiceinmyhead.com; as much as I’ve neglected you & my commenters in the recent past, as perhaps not upto your high standards as recents posts may have been - and as much time as I’ve spent on Facebook recently - TVIMH, I do love you.

I love you very very very much. Really, really.

There have been SO many (so many!) times in the recent past I’ve wanted to post about stuff - like the time I “discovered” Pot Pourri has fabulous breakfasts - in fact it’s become my new favorite brekky place (I’ve done Crepe Station to death)..

Like all the stuff I want to tell you about my new favorite male-friend-in-a-supporting-role (deyamm you lead actor, where the bloody hell are you?) - he’s British (rather old fashioned & grandfatherly) and on occasion buys me African Daisies Oh, ho-hum & hurray!

Like when I saw ‘Get Smart’ and I wanted to tell everyone to go see, it was SUCH a fabulously fun movie. Oh, how I laughed. Laughed, laughed, laughed. I still have this nigling (is that a word? hmmm) doubt however, that they censored a bit of the movie… Anyway I enjoyed it despite that - and despite the loss of hundreds of my hard earned paisas (ok, the date’s paisas) that went into the Rs. 180/- popcorn at Metro Adlabs late late night show (seriously, it is just me or is popcorn at all our theaters becoming RIDICULOUSLY expensive???)

Or like the time I wanted to post about how because our President Pratibha Patil decided to visit Mumbai - they STOPPED ALL THE TRAFFIC (seriously WTHECK?????) - for hours on end. I waited for exactly 25 minutes on my way to the city in the morning (from 11.05 to 11.30am) and for about 45 mins on the way back in the evening (rush hour, 5 onwards) and I’m thinking:

BLOODY HELL, seriously.
Why can’t the President be FLOWN in from the airport to the city in a helicopter? There’s a helipad at the Mantralaya (& other places too in the city) and if someone’s important enough to stop traffic completely for hours, then they should be flown in! It’ll be faster for them and it won’t inconvenience the entire city.
I mean, seriously, how bloody inconsiderate. I don’t care if you’re the President of the country - you have no right to disrupt anyone’s work schedules. It’s just not right.
And in rush hour too? Seriously, you should have seen it - one side of the road jammed with cars, miles & miles & miles & miles on end. The other side perfectly clear.
And I counted the entourage: 42 CARS. Seriously, I kid you not. 42 BLOODY CARS.
For this, we have to wait. While madam and her 42 cars pass by roads that have been “cleansed” & cleared for hours ahead.
If I was the President of India - I’d be ashamed that I was whizzing past miles & miles of people I had inconvenienced (imagine those without air con cars or those in taxis paying by the meter!) - I’d use the power I had to do something about it. Either helicopter or travel in the night or early morning.

(click on the image above to enlarge & see the miles of jammed cars & the empty road on the other side).

So you see darling blog - I had this whole post planned - see I took pics & everything - notwithstanding the hawaldar who questioned me and told me to stop. I was thinking about you & only you all the time (Facebook, who facebook? Arey yaar, sheesh.)

I thought of you VERY much when someone told me recently that I was “ruining my chances” of finding a nice boy to marry me since I blog so much. I though, what the hell - “love me, love my blog”. And if you don’t, heck, I don’t want to marry you. Sorrbloodyrey. I wrote out this whole post in my head & I even thought of great title - “I blog therefore I am, single”. It was a great post. Unfortunately I just didn’t get down to typing it down.

So you see darling blog - it’s not that I don’t love you - or that I’ve replaced you by anyone else online - no, no, never! Perish the thought!

It’s just that I’ve been slightly busy. You know, I have to go out, earn my daily wage to pay for your hosting and your url and the fancy Manolo Blahnik shoes you like (ok, perhaps that last one was just for me, and only in my fantasies. Sigh, but you get the drift). I’ve been busy, but it’s all for you. It’s always been all for you.

And I hope this rather loooong post has made up for my seeming lack of affection recently.

No?

Gosh, you are quite the drama blog aren’t you?

Ok, here’s something more just for you. Some breaking news!

I’m off to Switzerland for a bit - and then onto France. Not too long, just a little holiday - but enough for you to miss me some more before I come back & fill you up on a regular basis. Quality AND Quantity, baby, you have my word.

I promise you, I’ll miss you VERY VERY VERY much. And I also promise you I’ll give you all the khabbar when I return.

AND - I’ll also throw in a photo of me for free. To heck with the people who tell me my feeds are high only because I post photos of myself. I happen to think I write pretty decently. See how much of insults I take on your behalf blog? How much I am spat at & humiliated - and yet, undaunted, I continue to blog being true to who I am and write & post the way I like to? See, see, see??

(the precious pup incidentally isn’t mine, he’s belongs to a friend & his name is ‘Reo’, awww)

So you forgive me darling blog?

You do?

Can we have make up sex now? (heck, I’m not getting any offline anyway).

And seriously, to heck with all of those ppl who called me up after one of my recent posts & said WHOA, seriously, you prude you, what the heck are you blogging about?! To heck with them, I say.

I want you blog.

Now!

Tags: FaceBook, Pratibha Patil, Traffic, TVIMH