Apr 12 2008
On Men & Mates (and the women who provide them)
It is a truth universally acknowledged in India, that young lasses in their late twenties are just crying out to elderly aunties (known and unknown) for help to get married. “Find me a man, any man - it doesn’t matter; if he’s male, he’ll do”. This knowledge firmly in place, many an aunty has set out on that seemingly daunting task - playing God - by setting out to find suitable Adams for every Eve they know.
I’m pretty certain many of them maintain books with details of young girls and boys, which are then swapped gloriously, hopefully, gleefully with rubbed hands and delightfully fake humble sighs - “It’s only our duty to help”
Many a such trials has this fair (ok, wheatish) lass had to endure. Out of pure love for you her blog groupies (nay, it is a love slightly tainted by her desire to club certain aunties and so-called suitable suggestions) this lass will recount her [mis]adventures with the men who were offered as mates.
Today I am breaking earlier vows of silence and introducing you to the world she has inhabited over the last few years. My friend Arnold thinks my “I’m sure ____ doesn’t read my blog” thinking should be recorded for future vindicative use against me - though honestly, I really don’t think any of these guys read my blog, so I’ll be as honest as I can about all the incidents without giving away any names.
Some of the characters you will meet from this world are:
* Husky the Sailor Boy
* INot (I’m not talking) the Psychiatrist Boy
* Playboy the Pilot Boy
* Serious the Chef Boy
* iDoc the Surgeon Boy
* Smiley the Builder Boy
* GOPTIP (Great on the phone, *Terrible* in person) the Banker Boy
* MaMeN (Marry me now) the second Pilot Boy
* Quiet the Dentist Boy
and of course, my pièce de résistance - the story which beats all my friend’s proposal nightmare stories hands down (yes, of course we swap stories) -
* PFH (the Proposal from Hell) who was, the Proposal from hell (seriously) Boy (perhaps)
AND EXTRA (don’t you love the number of things you get with this blog!) you will also get to “meet” the aunties, the friends, you will come along with me & suffer with me a little hopefully, even while you laugh out loud.
Keep reading!
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If you’re new at TVIMH, you might want to acquaint yourself with these true stories:
Weirdass Proposal Story
So, we’re talking and then
White Lies and White Wine (a bit of the former, none of the latter)
Men: Falling for me. Falling on me. And taking me down with them.
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I see publishers climbing over each other to get in that first book deal offer!
p.s
I still think “naïve” was better!)
(Damn these automatic smilies and damn me for missing the space between the ‘:’ and the ‘(’!)
I like what I see. I like even more what I hope to see. Glee glee. Some in the list sound known to me. Note it all rhymes… hee hee.
I wonder if these aunties have an underground network where they get up to date bakras for their little black books.
Awesome post. May be this impatience is one of the major reason behind the increasing the divo rates this days…..Ah crap. Getting married and then divo’d within a year or 2…..
Nice character categorizing!
interesting… waise i was wondeirng wer wud i fit in in a few years time!!
Hey Melody
Join the club Melody…I hate when my cousin brings out the topic that the match maker has some list of guys that you could take a look at…Baffled that it’s not one guy but it’s like a list of guys… hoping that I might just say Yes to one from the many. When you hear the words “ keep yourself free” or “you’ll receive a call from so and so” at such given times I wish I was invisible …but am happy that my family n my cousins are supportive of the decisions that I make and God is there to guide me …I guess I wrote a short blog rather then a comment
Hey Mel,
Have been reading your blog since aeons but this is my first comment! Had a hearty laugh at your match-making piece (I can imagine you thinking ‘Bats, it’s not funny when it happens to you’). You’ve got the “aunties” down to a T!
Also wanted to THANK YOU for inspiring me to start writing my own blog: http://liaisonwithalison.blogspot.com
Hugs,
Al
@ Vij: Great. See you at 8. Ok fine, am not so good with making sense of the rhyming as you are. Have put in first installment, trust you are still liking?
@ Savin: lol, maybe! Incidentally, welcome to TVIMH! Cya around more often!
@ Ashu: Actually it *it* terribly sad the number of divorces going around.. I think various factors are responsible but yeah, instant gratification of every need is def one of them.
Anyway, here’s a first-timers official welcome to TVIMH!
@ Ian: Thanks Ian, glad you like! You’re new here too! Welcome & cya around!
@ Sam: er… you want to be on my proposal rejection list?!
@ Susan: lol, yes it’s a difficult thing, this finding the “right” man to marry. But I guess most of the aunts etc mean well - and it does make for funny blog posts, so
@ Bats: Oh absolutely. Seriously, did any of y’all expect that *I* was going to be the one going through proposals!! You all had love marriages!!! And ME!!! I guess life is funny that way
Glad to see you blogging, will hop over now & check out! Hugggs
For a newbie stumbling onto your blog, i have to admit, it is refreshingly entertaining !! Will be back to hear more voices from your head !!
Good Work !! K I U (Keep It Up) ! (A Short attempt at abbreviations )
PS: TVIMH is also an abbreviation. Which after your last statement I just thought I’d point out.