Imagine this: A young marriageable girl from Tiruchi. The parents anxious to get a “good” husband. There must have been much rejoicing in the Jenita household when the boys family agreed to the marriage with their son, an Infosys employee. To make it better, the future son-in-law for the Jenita family was from the US - a “prestigious” alliance no doubt.
The young girl, though an MBA herself, must have no doubt been excited. And then there must have been the wedding. Again undoubtedly, dhoom-dhamal. The Jenitas must have proudly told family & neighbors about the “good catch” their daughter had got. Sweets. Saris. Flowers.
And then the day she had to depart for the US with her husband and his family. Tears. Her parents must have come home from the airport, taking solace in the wedding photographs, feeling now they had finally done all they could for their daughter.
Now she was “settled” in life.
At what stage did dreams turn into nightmares for the girl Smalin?
In a shocking case of dowry-harassment, a 23-year-old pregnant woman was beaten by her husband and in-laws and thrown out of a moving car, while she was in the US. The 7-month pregnant Smalin Jenita was comatose till a week ago, and had sustained 52 fractures while being harassed for dowry by her husband and his family in the US.
Perhaps we’ll never know. Perhaps we’ll never know if from day one she was harassed by Christy Daniels, the man who was meant to be her life mate. We’ll never even know how she got pregnant, whether she had a good union with her husband.
What we do know is that shortly after her marriage, Smalin got pregnant. And we do know that even in her seventh month of pregnancy, she was being harassed, beaten - and ultimately thrown out of a car! - by her husband and in-laws. We know she was abandoned in a hospital in the US in a coma. We know her family in India wasn’t even informed by the in-laws of her condition. We know it was only by the intervention of a kindly good Samaritan, a Pakistani doctor in this case, that these matters were brought to light. More details here & here.
(Smalin is currently in the ICU at Mehta hospital in Chennai. She and her unborn child are in stable condition. Besides the 52 fractures suffered, Smalin is now paralysed on the left side due to the brain injuries she suffered)
Smalin Jenita’s case brings one more ugly fact to light. It is something that everyone knows but justifies in many ways - that Dowry still exists, and not just among the poor, uneducated class in India, where women do not know their rights, but even among rich, wealthy and educated families.
Another family in India might have gone through a similar ordeal like the Jenita family - had it not been for very plucky action from the bride’s family.
On the night before the wedding was to take place, the grooms family demanded a dowry of Rs. 50 lakhs. Instead of canceling the ceremony or paying the dowry, the brides family went ahead with the function - and then in front of all their relatives told the prospective in-laws to be that they had filed a complaint with the Patiala police. The girls side of the family was enraged with the behavior of the groom & family & actually beat the groom up before he was whisked away by the police.
Again, both families were wealthy and educated - here both prospective bride and groom (Gurpreet Singh) were doctors.
Last minute dowry demands are as common as they come.
Can India forget the story of Nisha Sharma the bride-to-be who called the police after her father was asked for more dowry money just minutes before her wedding ceremony? Her act was heralded as “brave” and overnight Nisha went on to becoming an anti-dowry icon, being featured worldwide on the BBC & even on shows like Oprah.
However Nisha Sharma & the (unnamed) bride at the Gurpreet Singh rebellion-against-dowry-demand stories are few and far between. It is still unfortunately stories of Smalin Jenitas that are still common.
I’ve long since been in “the marriage market” and I have seen all sorts of “proposals”. One thing I know is that dowry is still asked for. It is shrouded in many different ways, often so indirectly that a novice may not realize it, but it does exist.
And since it exists, it’s important to make sure that one has a plan in place to deal with it. My personal stance I take against Dowry is this - my family and I are both very clear that there will be no dowry given. If the boy’s family even so much as hints that they are interested in what my parents are giving me, I refuse to even see the boy.
Though I do wish I find my soul mate - I definetely rather remain single than marry the wrong guy. And someone who is interested in how much money my family is bringing to the table is in now way close to being “right”.
I am very vocal about my attitude towards Dowry because I hope it will positively help even one other person from the ordeal Smalin Jenita & her family have had to go through. Let us realize that this problem is still rampant among educated people & it is upto us, those who are anti-dowry, to speak out about it, as loudly & as often as we can.
Tags: Anti-Dowry, Christy-Daniels, Dowry, Gurpreet-Singh, Nisha-Sharma, Smalin-Jenita
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November 29th, 2007 at 12:57 am
I notice you haven’t referenced any source - do you have a link to the site where this article was published? interestingly..possible this gets blown up in the media as the guy’s from infosys!
November 29th, 2007 at 9:39 am
I personally don’t think this case is getting blown up by the media - not as much as it should anyway! These are the things that should be reported & people made aware of, so that they don’t happen again, in any form. And - even if it is being “blown up” by the media - I would imagine it’s because of the brutality involved - husband & family harassing the 7 month pregnant wife & throwing her out of a car! - rather than simply because the husband worked for Infosys, don’t you think?
November 29th, 2007 at 10:42 am
Hi , very well written
Even i hate it when educated ppl take dowry & i guess every gal in India also is against this dowry system. I have seen that some boys also dnt want to take money in their marriage bt many times they are forced rather emotionally blackmailed by their parents to do that. But i dnt understand why dnt dey use their civic sense & go against their parents in such matters.Lets hope dat such a day comes soon 
November 29th, 2007 at 11:32 am
The bigger question here is not dowry. It is violence- pure and simple. Smalin’s husband and in-lasws are criminals and should be prosecuted. The law in the States comes down heavily on this type of behaviour.
The important thing is for the women to stand up for themselves. This could not have been the first instance of harassment for Smalin. If she had been plucky and approached the police , she and her child would not have been subjecct to mortal danger.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:05 pm
I don’t get this, Smalin is in a ICU at chennai and her father moved her from U.S to Chennai in that condition.
November 29th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
I read the news article the father had no choice but to taker her home. She should have let her parents or police know about the harassment.
November 29th, 2007 at 7:52 pm
As they say, these guys should be hanged by their thumbs and left to rot.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:23 am
Hi, Here are some more details about this. I knew about this case a month before she moved to India. I live int he same city where she was hospitalized to.
“23-year-old pregnant woman was beaten by her husband and in-laws and thrown out of a moving car, while she was in the US. “. The records of the Sheriff’s office and state troopers report says that the accident was caused because of the another vehicle pulled in front of their car and they crossed median to avoid the collision. (And when police report says that in US means it’s correct ). She wasn’t dropped to the hospital by her husband. Obviously car wasn’t in drivable condition. She was brought to the hospital by EMS and along with her sister in law who got multiple fractures too. Guy was there visiting her in the hospital for a few days. (I think that mounting pressure of hospital bills made him flew out of the country and girls father is upset about it.).
November 30th, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Very well said mel….that was gr8 article…these bloody creatures feel that if they are working for any multinational company,they can do anything but i don’t think this is just the mistake of her husband.Her parents are equally guilty in that.You know we need to change our mentality.
ANGREZ CHALE GAYE LEKIN ANGREZI CHOD GAYE.
We always feel if we have any alliance from U.S. that must be good.We need to do through background check before stepping in.The girl should feel like marrying that guy.
Even if in this age we are following an age old system then these incidents are bound to happen.We just come to know about the reported incidents.God knows what happens to them who we never know about.
It’s time to wake up guys….
November 30th, 2007 at 8:44 pm
Greedy people meet bitter ends…
In this case while everybody tries to see how greedy groom’s family was(and for which they indeed deserve punishment if proven investigation), however, no body even bothers to contemplate on how much greedy the girl’s family was. The greed of girls family is masqueraded and then marketed as expectations from married life.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:46 pm
tictactoe you information seems to be suggesting that it is another fake dowry harassment case where the dis-gruntled parents of girl are using dowry as a weapon instead of dowry as shield.
December 2nd, 2007 at 4:15 am
When i was in the 11th grade, i had kicked a south indian guy in the face breaking some teeth.(i used to go to wushu classes back then)
i remember he was a REC guy (REC guys are supposed to be elite nerds) , anw ,he was blabbering something taking 50kg in gold from his future wife .
Dowry is unheard of in Goa, so i told him to stfu. Somehow things got heated up and you know the rest.
The only thing Indians need is some common sense. Many families like the Jenitas suffer from the lack of it.
India has become a undesirable gene pool because most of the rich and powerful are filthy perverts.
There is no doubt that most of the politicians are corrupt $#!7heads.
*sigh* I hope India becomes a egalitarian society in the future.
great article mel =)
December 2nd, 2007 at 7:20 am
I hope that the full true story about Jenita’s incident comes out. The victims of domestic violence married to H1 visa holders in the US are scared to seek help because of their visa status. I have heard about one lady in NC who was married to an Indian police commissioner’s son. She was abused and her husband finally left her for a white girl. She ended up in homeless shelter with her child while he drives a Benz. He continues to evade authorities, and she has not been able to get child support for her daughter. What is worse in such cases is that except for a very few, the Indian community does not give a damn. They pretend that domestic violence does not exist at all.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:12 am
Thanks for the links. Absoultely right on that,but i would (cynically) assume that the media may/will pounce on it thanks to the infosys name(or it may even work the other way so as not to ruin the company image!) hope i’m wrong and it works out fine at the end though.
December 14th, 2007 at 12:09 am
after listening to this incident, and instead of talking about wat has happened,smalins parents must decide to go to court and fight for thier daughters rights and ask the court to hang smalins inlaws… people who demand for more dowry must learn a lesseon… if we leave these people open, others are going to follow the same!
December 14th, 2007 at 11:16 am
There another trend I’ve been seeing with regards to dowry. It seems the grooms family will say that they don’t need anything, but if the bride’s family wants to “gift” their daughter something, they can gift a plasma tv/refrigerator/car. Not to generalize, but I’ve noticed this to be the style in North Indian weddings.
At times this seems harmless, after all the bride’s family will like to gift their daughter something, why not gift something that is needed. But when you see these gifts displayed at the wedding for all to see.. no doubt in my mind its dowry.