Melody on August 21st, 2007

The story of Adnan Patrawala has all of Mumbai asking that question.

For those not in the know, Adnan Patrawala was the 16 year old son of a businessman from Lokhandwala area in Andheri. Last Saturday (18th) he went out in his Scoda Octavia to play pool at a mall with some friends. He then called home (around midnight) to tell his parents that he “would not return that night”.

Unfortunately for Adnan, he was never to return home at all.

His parents were informed about the kidnapping on Sunday morning at 11am, through this call:

Your son is with us. We have kidnapped him and if you do not part with Rs 2 crore (INR 20 million) you will repent for your actions.

Adnan’s parents called the Oshiwara police and the police were able to track the calls (three subsequent calls were also made). They stated that Adnan spoke to his family during the last call and it was during this call that the trace went through.

By Sunday evening the cops had detained a junior college student Himesh Ambawat (18) (some newspapers report his name to be Khimesh Sambatvad) after some eyewitnesses said Adnan was last seen with him. Subsequent to all the questioning, Ambawat led the police to Sujit Nair (28), a BPO employee and alleged mastermind of the crime. Nair and another accomplice, Ayush Bhatt (19), also a college student, were detained in Navi Mumbai on Monday afternoon.

However it was too late for Adnan, who was drugged, intoxicated and then strangled to death with what is believed to be a belt.

Additional Commissioner of Police (western region) Archana Tyagi says:

They (the accused) got scared after they came to know through media reports on Sunday that the police were after them, so they killed the boy

Aslam Patrawala has now blamed the police and media for leaking out the sensitive information of this kidnapping, which led to his son’s death.

Archana Tyagi blames the media saying that, “strict instructions were issued that no information pertaining to the investigation should be leaked out to the media” but then in the same breadth she says, “some junior level may have spoken about it”.

New details of this relatively new case is still emerging. Apparently Adnan had met all three accussed through Orkut, where his profile states among other things:

I love mobiles, friends, my mother, fast driving, humorous, good looking, wanna become a pilot

About two to three weeks ago, Adnan was also contacted by ‘Angel’, whose profile stated she was a girl. Scrapbooks of Adnan and Angel revealed that they were continuously talking to each other; with Angel insisting on Adnan meeting her. Adnan apparently wanted to see a photograph of Angel first but this was never sent by her.

She apparently said things like this:

Don’s worry I’m quite & gud looking, u wanna meet me??? Lez mette up na! wot say?

Finally on Saturday Adnan replied that he wanted to meet her. This was the same Saturday that he was kidnapped. He went out with the accused he had also met through Orkut, who now admit that the kidnapping had been meticulously planned for 10 days.

Also surprising is when police accessed Orkut, they found that someone had tampered with Adnan’s profile and his picture album, videos and all scraps before 20th August have been deleted - even after the news of Adnan’s murder, someone is apparently operating his Orkut profile! So far no reports have been made as to who this could be. ‘Angel’ also appears to be still at large since though the accused have admitted to the murder, they have not stated that the profile of ‘Angel’ was created by them.

The parents blame the police and media for their son’s death. The police blame the media. Some people are only to happy to have additional fuel to blame Orkut.

But even while all this blame game goes on, I ask myself, why was a 16 year old driving a car in the first place? Let alone a 12-15 lakh Scoda Octavia. Adnan, was apparently known to spend money like water on his friends - his “two passions in life: fast cars and cricket”. His ghostly image stares out of his Orkut profile page clutching a hookah nozzle in one hand stating:

“Words can’t describe me but I’m always cool. What more?”

Whatever and Whoever else is to blame, I believe this ‘cool’ - this modern day tendency among kids of rich parents to buy the latest mobile phones, drive fancy cars, spend money lavishly; the tendency of rich parents to give everything to their children - also played a role in the murder of Adnan Patrawala.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

46 Responses to “Who or What killed Adnan Patrawala?”

  1. It is sad to see people not realising the worth of money. Kids at this being spend-thrifts means there is a fault in the upbringing, according to me… It is sad to see people letting their kids out unawares and then get depressed when something unwanted happens! It is the parents who r to be blamed too!

    By the way, need your inputs and comment. Please read http://knownaresh.blogspot.com.....and-y.html and reply! Wont take more than 5 mins!

  2. As a college prof. whose dealt with some of these kids for many years, all I can say is that Adnan’s parents who gave him too many material things & then inadvertently taught him to flaunt their wealth are largely responsible for the poor chap’s troubles. Most well meaning parents never realise the damage they could be doing by giving their kids too much stuff + too much freedom at a young age.

    Keep writing about these things Melody, who knows how many people may read it & change!! (yes, nowadays many young parents are internet savvy & blog savvy)

  3. I agree with Ana, parents need to instill values into their kids, today where there is so much economic disparity one needs to be conscious & draw limits on extravagance. Parents need to keep a tab on friends. Adnan’s parents letting him stay out the whole night itself shows they were too liberal. Kids should be allowed to play but within the boundaries demarcated by Parents/ guardians.

  4. I saw some sites, saying rubbish things like Orkut…my point is if not ORKUT it could have been chat or some other thing…intead of blaming it on sites like orkut following point should be taken up like “why was a 16 year old driving a car”….nice post by the way

  5. All this talk about values that parents are supposed to teach the kids . Parents are responsible .. Parents love thier child no matter what a loss is a loss .. what about the paernts of the guys who killed him .. Did they not teach thier kids values are adnans parents to blame just because the let him drive a skoda i think not. I guess we need to look deep are we doing sufficiently enough to stop these , at 18 if a guys joins a call centre and gets 18 to 20 thousand rupees a montth to spend is it right . Can we regulate the age for a person to join full time work and earn so much money . We are to busy filling our own coffers .. I am sure adnan will be forgoten in a coupele of day by everyone . One more lesson and we still have not learnt .

  6. @ Naresh: Yes, sadly I agree with you. Their is something to be said about the values one learns as a child.

    @ Ana: “Most well meaning parents never realise the damage they could be doing by giving their kids too much stuff + too much freedom at a young age”

    Couldn’t have put it better myself. While I feel for Adnan’s parents at what must be a unbelievably traumatic time for them, one can only hope other parents learn that giving everything to one’s kids is not necessarily the best thing for a child.

    @ Uno: “Adnan’s parents letting him stay out the whole night itself shows they were too liberal”

    Yes, this was another point that struck me too. I cannot imagine calling my parents at midnight and telling them I’m not coming home! Some may argue about the difference in boys coming late v/s girls but still, given his age, the car he was given, the money he spent, I think it was a sign of too much liberty.

    @ Rahul: “if not ORKUT it could have been chat or some other thing”

    Oh absolutely. There are lots of ways of duping people, especially online. Hence parents should monitor what their children are doing on the computer, what chat rooms, networking sites they’re accessing etc. Firewalls should be installed at home. There are many predators (in this case monetary inclined, in many other case, sexually inclined) who use the internet as a breeding ground or a fishing ground. Though one cannot blame the sites, parents must be careful, as should everyone using these sites.

    @ Tariq: “Parents love thier child no matter what a loss is a loss”

    In no way am I negating the loss of Adnan to his parents. I never even heard of him, but seeing his innocent looking picture I too feel for him & his unnecessary death upset me. Which is why I’m even questioning the attitudes of all parents, children & society in general.

    “I guess we need to look deep are we doing sufficiently enough to stop these”

    What do you suggest?

    “at 18 if a guys joins a call centre and gets 18 to 20 thousand rupees a montth to spend is it right . Can we regulate the age for a person to join full time work and earn so much money”

    It is an interesting question. I don’t know if I have the authority to say it is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. What I can say is that values taught to children at a young age will definitely affect & influence them when they grow up, regardless of how much money they earn or not when they’re in their teens or later.

    “I am sure adnan will be forgoten in a coupele of day by everyone . One more lesson and we still have not learnt”

    Tariq, if through this post ONE person learns something useful - whether parent or child - then I feel that at least something good will have come out of such an evil. And that Adnan will live on in a good way.

  7. Syd Rehman - London
    August 22nd, 2007 at 9:40 pm

    Why are people blaming the parents!!! He was a 16 year old who like other 16 year olds liked to going out, and do things what 16 year olds do! If he can afford to go why not!! It is a very hard time for the parents as i know them personally,they are religious and down to earth people, believe me if we can turn back time things may have turned out differently. Adnan - May Allah be with you at all time. Allah-Hafiz

  8. yeh bahut narazgi ki baat hai bahut said hai ki yeh sun kar mujhe bahut gham huwa hai

  9. @ Syd Rehman: NO ONE here is saying (nor should anyone anywhere say) what happened is all due to the parents. No, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Definitely the ones who are to blame are the three boys in question (given the information right now). All I’m saying - and I think what some others who have commented here are saying too, is that there are other factors too that have contributed to this mess.

    These factors include (as even Aslam Patrawala has pointed out):
    The police
    The media
    And what I’m saying:
    Attitudes of parents, children & society in general when dealing with money - even the most well meaning people
    Also other factors:
    Like maybe drugs? (there must have been some greater motivation behind this crime which I think time will unearth)
    The value systems taught by the parents of the three accused to their children.
    And I’m sure many other factors too.

    You ask, “If he can afford to go why not!!”- I think this case unfortunately answers that question in a far better and unfortunately more morbid way than anyone could. I believe that just because there is money to spend, doesn’t mean one should spend it - or allow one’s child to spend it. Money’s value is to be learned and respected.

    You say, “believe me if we can turn back time things may have turned out differently”-
    I’m sure! I’m sure that Adnan’s parents would NEVER give him the car, nor the money to splash around giving others the idea that he & his parents were made of money nor the permission to go on overnight trips as and when he chose.

    I’m VERY SURE that they loved Adnan and wanted ‘the best’ for him & hence let all this happen. This is the attitude I hope changes in parents (because SO MANY well meaning parents do these things)- about what is ‘best’ - is it really giving tons of unearned money to a young teenager? A luxury car well before the authorized age to get a license even? The permission to do as and what the child pleases? Or is the ‘best’ teaching a child (among other things) the value of money, discipline and regard for rules?

    I hope that my post causes EVEN ONE person to think and change their attitude in such a way that it saves a child from such an unwarranted and horrible death. NO ONE should ever have to go through this. Neither child nor parent.

    My heart & prayers go out to Adnan’s parents. May Adnan’s soul RIP.

    @ Fahad: Yes it is indeed very upsetting.

  10. Shucks, hes so cute
    this news really saddened me
    i dont feel like networking anymore :(

  11. first of all…who is responisble..n all of tht BLAME GAME aint gonna help now…its too late…adnan is gone…gone forever. I feel sorry for myself more than i feel sorry for adnan, to be born in a country like India. I feel sorry for all those freedom fighters who sacrificed their life or part of their life to set this country free. good for nothing, absolutely nothing. Be it politcians, police, People OR MEDIA for that matter.

    Why I hate media the most?? Well…coz I work in a nationaly news channel…one minute…to be specific…Country’s most REPUTED news channel. Its said that Media is a Pillar of democracy…ya right…the pillar which was neva there…allways missing. I know the inside story..how a NEWS channle works. PURE BUSINESS is what they are up to. All they care for is the TRPs of their shows and NOTHING MORE. They broke the NEWS, ofcourse to get the TRPs. They care a flying if some one dies or whteva. I wish there was some MEDIA to expose MEDIA. Media is nothing less than any corporate orgnaisation. females sleepling around with big bosses to get more shows, get shows at prime time or to become big anchors. I had joined media coz i used to think very highly of media…but now I know the reality about it HOPE LESS.

    And i do not agree to ppl who blame it on adnan’s parents for wht all has happend. Well I was in school, every one in my class used to get some vehicle to school. Some used to get scooter, bike or Car. Whateva their parents could afford. So if adnan’s parents could afford giving him a skoda, thts absolutely fine. If every one would start kidnapping or killing to earn money the FAST way…well it’ll become a circle.

    We all want to earn money the right way, so we can give our offsprings a better life. IF THESE THREE CONVICTS MANAGE TO ESCAPE, SOME OTHER THREE WILL ALSO DARE TO DO THE SAME SO…WE NEED TO SET AN EXAMPLE. R.I.P …i dun even knw him, still cant hold ma emotions…sorry ppl for buggin…life goes on…god bless this country…its so DEAD

  12. I completely agree with your conclusion Mel.

  13. All I would like to add is to give the family some space and let them grieve. They have lost their son and they dont need to be reminded of thier mistakes ( as u suggest ) at this moment in time.
    People should be sensitive to their feelings especially at this time in thier lives.
    So its best if the debate stopped on what or who is to blame.

  14. Once everyone thought that illiteracy is the main reason for for murders, rapes and robbery in the world…now even well educated ppl r doing wit the help of technology…its very disappointing to hear some college students and BPO employee invovled in this…

  15. @ Batool: Yeah I know! That’s the first thing I though, look at how cute he is. Ah. He’s looks like an angelic little boy… Know how you feel but I think you should just be careful and not give up entirely.

    @ numb: What should I say to that?!! Well, you be blessed!

    @ S: Well, let’s hope it makes a difference in someone’s life.

    @ Genny: It isn’t my intention to make the family feel like I (or anyone else) is pointing a finger at them. Rather through this I hope that someone somewhere - parent or child could learn a lesson through this tragedy & thus making some good out of this in a way.

    That being said, I get what you’re saying & I respect it.

    @ Praveen: Yes it is very very dissapointing. Apparently some of the kids involved were from rich families themselves. Which is why I think there was something greater behind all this than we know right now (drugs? gambling debts?)

  16. I dont think that since few of us dont get any money or dont have a fun life, others shudnt have. As someone stated earlier, if he/parents could afford, why not??? Europeans do that. Austrailians do that. Canadians do that. This indian mentality of living like beggers has got to go. We need to change the society so we have can go out not excpecting to die. That is important. Not whether a parent can give “material” things to children or not, that bullshit. I however agree, at 16 he was not of legal age to drve.

  17. i completely agree with SUV on this one…ppl who are blaming adnan’s parents mean to say that if a girl walks out of her house wearing a skirt or jeans instead of a BURKHA or SALWAR KAMEEZ then its her mistake if she gets raped…get a life

  18. Numb, thats not a fair comparison. There are the culprits. They are the ones who are legally to be blamed and punished. Same in a rape. The rapist is the criminal. But things don’t end there. If you leave the window open and leave home, and if a thief gets in, is only the thief to be blamed? The thief should end up in jail, but you were the idiot. Same logic.

  19. I don’t think Melody’s message is don’t live well when you can. On the contrary, Melody seems to be living a life that far from austere.

    The message is purely to live wisely. Having money is not the reason to use money. Numb your talk about rape seems that you have missed the point by a mile.

    The debate is, if you do have money; it is important to teach (and learn) the value of it.

    No one is suggesting that if you have money, take it all and donate it to charity. By all means live well. But with money comes more than just comfort, along comes responsibility, power and - as seem in this case - possible danger. Education both by parents and society have to cater to all of these.

    I think that Melody is trying to see the lesson in this for all of us. Let us make this boy’s life more than a tragedy but convert it into a wake up call.

  20. Hello every body ! all i have to say is i’m feeling so sorry for that boy (just look at his face) he’s so adorable .. may be what ever ???.. it’s very sad and unfortunate for some thing like this to happen .. its the worst thing what one can go thru which adnans parents are going thru .. we all have to support them and give them the space at this difficult time than plying the blame game .. long live adnan.. but onbe thing for sure the culprits should not be spared at any cost ! how on earth can people think of murdering some one (after all it s a question of life )but god is watching .. he knows what is right and what is wrong.. and i have full faith in the judicial system of india probabally it might take some time but justice will be done for this boy and his soal will rest in peace ..

  21. @ Suv: “I dont think that since few of us dont get any money or dont have a fun life, others shudnt have.”

    There are lots of way to have “fun” Suv - and they do not necessarily mean splashing around (unearned!) money. What you don’t get is that I’m not saying don’t have fun, I’m saying responsibility is key. IC has pretty much spelt it out to you in her reply.

    “As someone stated earlier, if he/parents could afford, why not??? Europeans do that. Austrailians do that. Canadians do that. This indian mentality of living like beggers has got to go.”

    I answered the ’someone’ you mention in my comment #9. As for Europeans, Canadians & Australians - and most people in developed countries - many children leave home at early ages. Most of them work their own jobs and earn their own money.

    It’s actually an Indian tendency (not all, but definitely some) to overindulge kids who live at home on their parents money until marriage.

    And as for the Beggars thing! The surely is a whole in-between area between living like a Beggar and living like Adnan was, at his age, surely!

    @ numb: Again am at a loss of words at what to say to you! Mostly, because I cannot get over your statement in your first comment “I feel sorry for myself more than i feel sorry for adnan, to be born in a country like India.”

    @ GTM: Thanks for answering numb. It’s good to know some people get it. I know I won’t change the earth with this post but am SO hoping at least ONE person makes a change in his/her/their child’s lifestyle based on this episode.

    @ IC: Though I never thought this earlier, recently I am beginning to more and more wonder at the way we get each other completely!

    Also lol to the “Melody seems to be living a life that far from austere”! I don’t know about that ;) At any rate, I know that regardless of present circumstances, I am capable of living an austere life if I want to. But I digress.

    I like the way you’ve been summing up things here recently. Perhaps I could entice you into Guest Blogging here?

    @ Ashwin: You’re right, he does look adorable.

    “i have full faith in the judicial system of india probabally it might take some time but justice will be done for this boy”

    I hope you’re right Ashwin.

  22. Its very tragic to know that how people are stooping to the lowest level of being human , Adnan the 16 year old boy from an affluent family became victim of his so called freinds from middle,lower-middle class whom he trusted , it brings digrace to the term ” Freindship” .we now a days cant trust people from or on the internet , they might be fake from beginning till end , I felt so miserable to know about this shameful deed specially from people whom one puts faith , Its the worst form , mean to kill a colleauge who trust us , if these kind of incidents happen no body is going to trust n term freindship will loose all its value.Its not Adnan or his family to be blamed but his so called freinds from middle class who were cheap,no values and ready to kidnap and kill. It also raises numerous questions like people sorrounding us from middle,lower-middle class should we trust them ? shd we trust people from internet sites? shd we trust our freinds? Lets all pray for Adnan who was a noble soul and his only mistake was to trust his so called freinds who had criminal instinct

  23. well I am an orkut user…and i got to know about this from my friends..well yes as much as i blame parents I would have to say that it was Adnan’s fault as well. I think it’s one’s gut instinct [sp?] when it come to talking 2 random people. I personally don’t do that because apparently I know that half of the people put their are fake.. u can’t trust people u dont know..no one can blame orkut if u ask me…could have happened anywhere…virtual world is addicting…I know been there…but there is a reason its “virtual”…opposite of what reality is like…and at some point i feel that since adnan was brought up this way..his parents couldn’t have done anything…16 is the age when one is free and takes their own decisions…u never know..maybe he was a good son but people who have to go out of line do it no matter what!

    Good post..maybe by this incident many other people who want to meet others in person or want to swap phone numbers might come to realize it’s not alwayz what it seems to be!

  24. back again . and i’m really alad to see that people are actually making sence (discussions) on the insident which has shook the nation (media). but in the similar process one should not forget that adnans case is just one of the cases in 1000 s.. if all u people out here understand we are taking of a large section of youth who have lost their lives unnoticed .. hence we all here should make a difference in understanding the present condition of the yout (globally/) we should make this place a better place to live .. understand the fact that there is some thing more to life than money . and that all have to be very much united in times like this ,might be views differ but intention needs to be the same .all have to be very careful in what we are doing ?? who we are meeting and think twice before socializing with any one at all .

  25. glad to see that there are thinking minds left in here…

  26. Tragic turn of events no doubt. But incidents like this one is fast becoming common. Let’s look at beyond sensation, and beyond social networking sites. 16 year old driving a fancy car…staying out all night long..raises grave questions about rising disposable income and equally disposible values. Somewhere we, as a society must take responsibility and re-examine all our social, moral and cultural mores specially where it’s heading!

  27. Very tragic! I am most shocked about how these things are leaked to the media by the police. Anyone with money will be bound to give in to extortion requests and kidnappers’ demands rather than going to the police, given the state of our police force. And while I usually don’t indulge in media-bashing, I think the Indian media has gone the way of the British tabloids.

    However, Re: your statement: “…I believe this ‘cool’ - this modern day tendency among kids of rich parents to buy the latest mobile phones, drive fancy cars, ….” I disagree. It is illegal to drive and/or drink that that age. However, the fact is flaunting wealth and the consumption culture now prevalent in most of India is certainly not got anything to do with this crime. Also, your posts on frequent parties, etc., may themselves attract the same kind of critique from those who look down on such ‘indulgence’. If the person in question can afford that lifestyle, its his/her personal choice.

  28. @ Jay: “it brings digrace to the term ” Freindship””
    Absolutely.

    @ VM: “Good post..maybe by this incident many other people who want to meet others in person or want to swap phone numbers might come to realize it’s not alwayz what it seems to be!”

    Thank you. And let’s hope, as you say, this incident brings about more awareness among the naive about meeting people on the internet.

    @ Ashwin: “i’m really alad to see that people are actually making sence (discussions”

    Merci.

    “understand the fact that there is some thing more to life than money”

    Yes, this is what I’ve been saying.

    @ Kiran Ghag: Glad you like.

    @ Dreamcatcher:“Somewhere we, as a society must take responsibility and re-examine all our social, moral and cultural mores specially where it’s heading!”

    Well hopefully that will happen. As I’ve been saying in my comments here; if through this post ONE person learns something useful - whether parent or child - then I feel that at least something good will have come out of such an evil.

    @ Traveller: “However, the fact is flaunting wealth and the consumption culture now prevalent in most of India is certainly not got anything to do with this crime.”

    Have to disagree with you here. Because the accused themselves also now all admit that Adnan was chosen as the target because of the way he flaunted his wealth - they were sure if he threw so much of it around on a regular basis, lots more must exist with his parents.

    “Also, your posts on frequent parties, etc., may themselves attract the same kind of critique from those who look down on such ‘indulgence’.”

    First, what ‘indulgence’ are you talking about? If you’re talking about parents indulging (unearning) kids with money (which is the issue at hand), then I’d like to point out that:

    I am much more than a decade older than Adnan and have been working (& hard!) at my job for well over a decade now. So any partying that I do, I pay for with my own money - and because it is my own money, I know the value of it. Hence, I do not flaunt any money on my friends. Wouldn’t have done this even if I could, which I can’t, because like the next person, I work hard for the money I do have!

    Despite my age, my parents NEVER let me out of the house without in depth (sigh!) details on where I’m going, when I’m coming home, who I’m going out with. And they would definitely NEVER ever ever let me stay overnight anywhere on a last minute whim. So you see, neither my parents “indulge” me with money (or in any other way!) nor do I flaunt any wealth you may think I have. I definitely think there’s a different between spending hard earned money to enjoy oneself and ‘flaunting’ money (earned or not), don’t you?

    To understand more where I’m coming from wrt this post, do read IC’s comment #19 and also my reply to Syd in comment #9.

  29. @Melody: I think you misunderstood the points I was trying to make.

    I do have issues with underage kids with much money and lack of parental supervision. However, the fact that you have money (even if you show it off) should not be justification enough for a crime such as this.

    The reasoning for this is very similar I would make against those who subscribe to the view that wearing western or revealing clothes lead to eve-teasing and other crimes against women. While I understand that the CHANCES of your becoming a victim is higher if you are ‘attracting unwanted attention’ in both cases, I think that still doesn’t justify the crime. Also, the blame squarely rests on the perpetrators rather than the victims in both cases.

    BTW, if you read the statement again you will see that the comment about ‘indulgence’ is not my viewpoint; I was suggesting it could be ‘a viewpoint’ that you would have come across.

  30. Adnans murder raises a question can people from affluent upper middle class trust and make friends with middle and lower-middle class??? should we trust them?
    after all adnan met those guys at inorbit mall game zone, made friends with them, and then after 5 months those friends had kidnapped him…. Just Think how shocked adnan must be that his own so called friends he trusted,played pool,had food with are now killing him using a rope around his neck in his own car….

    Had adnan made friends with guys Only from his similar upper middle class background he would have been alive today. His murder did teach me that birds of the same nest should flock together.

  31. Jay, if that is the lesson that you take from this then so be it. I personally would not make such a decision.

    The reason that the British were able to rule India for so long is that they preyed each ones fear (or lack of trust) for people from different parts/classes/ religions etc etc.

    Its the very thing that fundamentalist political parties count on to get votes.

    The only way to beat it is to not be afraid but to learn to try to understand others.

  32. Traveller: There is a problem with the analogy you are using (the rape analogy) and here it is:

    Parents are responsible for minors.

    The debate is not about “flaunting” money by adults (such as Melody, Jay or others) but about what ‘responsible parenting’ is. It has been a topic of debate ever since the term was coined.

    There is a reason why people under the age of 18 do not have a license to drive or are allowed to vote or live by themselves or drink alcohol is the notion than they have not yet ‘matured’ into adults and do not have the capacity to think like adults. This includes the capacity to recognise danger and make mature decisions.

    What an adult (parent or guardian) is expected to do is to make sure that children and adolescents learn these (preferably before they turn 18)

    Let me give you an example of what could possibly learned by a child/ youth in the following situation (a generalisation and not in any way refering to Adnan’s family)

    Example
    Parent: “Here, Use the family car, you can drive to college”
    Reaction that parents probably want: “My parents are so cool”
    Lesson Learned: “Laws are not important. You can do what you want if you want it.”

    It is our responsibilty as adults to make sure that the right lessons are learned so that when the youth become adults (or as seen here, even before) they are capable of making good choices.

  33. @IC: I completely agree with your point on responsible parenting. However, I think this kind of crime could very well have happened with someone over the age of 21.

  34. @Jay,I disagree with you regarding the upper class jargon. The love, affection and help I have recd from the poorer and and so called lower middle class is much more than the upper class.

    The some poor people commit small crimes; it the rich who commit bigger crimes. Even the rich kidnap or rape (Kasliwal case).

  35. we meet again!! well I just read in Jay’s comment

    “Adnans murder raises a question can people from affluent upper middle class trust and make friends with middle and lower-middle class??? should we trust them?”

    As his words…I am guessing that u r trying to say that it could have happened due to class difference?? I absolutely disagree if that your point…Cause believe it or not but middle class and lower class people might be tooo desperate and needy, however, they have more values and better heart and deciding whats wrong and whats right…As per my thinking I would say that this has got nothing to do with being poor or not-so-rich as the next…You have to agree that human is greedy…You always want more…Therefore, It’s more likely that people who have such kind of money would be wanting more…where as middle class people know that you desire things that you can afford..So I would say class and status rarely matters…Ofcourse, Exceptions are always there but then again “common” people are more likely to be trusthworthy..!!

    In Short I agree with Lancy above me =]

  36. Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay , Mr.Tinaikar , had a point to make. ‘Rich people’s dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place,’ he said. ‘And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels?

  37. I think his family should be allowed to stay in peace. What bugged me is the media hype around the case, and the stupidity of Orkutians. I have written something satirical on my blog.

  38. condolence to parents..just look at the innocent face of that child.i disturbed since iv heard of adnans story.the murderers shud b punished severely.

  39. i had seen adnan as a small kid,n after that i saw his picture on newspaper after his death.trust me his got the same innocent n kiddish look wat he had wen he was a nursery kid..im mentally depressed thinking abt the way they killed that innocent child..killers shud b hung to death…if not govt,god will surely.

  40. plz giv severe punishment to adnans murderes.the punishment should b death so that nobody in future will dare to do this again.otherwise the criminals r not going to fear the law n such news wil b common,hence people should fear the consequence bfor commiting that dirty act.

  41. ……in this murder case one really cannot blame orkut…..its upto how one uses it…being under 18, an active member of orkut…..thinking of blind date without any verifications….were the invitations to such events….
    If we consider the whle case…Adnan has left many loopholes…which were severely misused by the kilers…..
    understanding the parents’ love towards their children, should also keep n constant eye on what their children are doing…and the friends circle they are into…..
    I have jus gone through Adnan’s orkut profile…as i see he was quite libral n friendly kind of person….but to my shock i have found this statement ‘if u want to know more come to my bed’……and obviously being a guy….he is really be willing to welcome females…not guys….
    Mumbai police is one of the fast n sharp moving police authority in Asia….one really cant blame them…..
    one has be quie careful…
    any how… God bless Adnan patrawala!!!!

  42. when one dont know about ‘how to use money’ - then should not…
    one has to maintain and do’s and don’t according to status…..
    …….Adnan was majorly @ mistake…..probably his age was kind of that…..parents should care for them….its not like if parents provide every need to their children…..their responsibility is over…….NO….they were careless…..in this case….n faced the consequences……

    though they appeal for strict punishment tothe killers….will they get back their ADNAN……
    so better be careful in advance….

    A fool learns after getting experiences n by making mistakes

  43. @Shweta Your comment reminded me of a saying I like to quote. “Fools learn from their mistakes, Wise men learn from the mistakes of others”

  44. my heart goes out to adnan’s parents. Why is everybody talking only about adnan’s bringing up? What about the culprit’s? they were pretty much in the same age group as adnan. where did their parents go wrong? we as parents want to give the best to our children, sometimes going over the top…but forget to instill in them tht such priveleges come with responsibilty. also..i think its just a case`of wrong ppl getting together for a wrong purpose irrespective of their class and backgrounds. there ought to be some common thread which brought them together. and tht obviously..as i see…was the reason for the crime having been committed.

  45. It is necessary for the news papers to publish the photos of the criminals who killed Adnan. It will help your readers to identify the persons if they try to commit any more crime if at all they are released from Police custody. Also the victims of their other attempted/succeeded crimes may be able to furnish details to the police/ procecution

  46. well i dont think it was the fault of adnans parents.. many a times parents cannot stop kids from goin out…i uderstand tht parents shud no their childrens frnds and thngs but still u cannot blame the parents! n evn if adnan had a car.. in a tv interview the parents said tht he onli drove to inorbit mall n no where else.. the accused shud not b spared its traggic tht they befriend ppl like this.. a 16 yr old getn murdered by an 18 yr old! it suks man! n den evn whn the accused took turns while driving adnan to navi mumbai thy took petrol money out of his volet n stuff! he was a brilliant frn i mus say! n if he drives a car wht is so wrong?? he knows how to drive n there fore its ok fo him tu du it…they drove in hsi car.. he foot there bills..he did everythng he cud fo those guys n wht did he get in return?its a very sad story! i jus wonder wht his parents mus b goin thru!! god bless his soul! if there was anythng i cud du….
    but i guess sumthngs r jus not in our hands…

Leave a Reply