Doing a google search on “Desi girls and virginity and sex” can have many repercussions.
You may find yourself on a certain Sakshi’s blog (not apna Juneja, this is another Sakshi) and may end up being the catalyst for an interesting post on desi girls not doing it.
Of course, you may even find my personal views on virginity part of the discussion.
While Sakshi starts of by saying that “virginity or induging in sex is a personal choice” she also says “abstaining because that is what Jesus said, might work for some but not for most, so stop touting that angle”.
While I don’t judge anyone else for their views, I always find it amazing how many people judge me for mine. Am I not allowed my personal choice too without being accused of ‘touting an angle’? Hmmm?!
If you ask me, “Are desi girls doing it or not?“, I’d tell you that it’s none of my business.
My business is to be true to my God, to myself, and to my personal principles. And I’ve already stated what those are.
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February 21st, 2007 at 9:28 pm
To use another Sakshi Juneja\’s blog title…\”to each its own\”
…even i dont believe in society defining morality for me….but that doesnt mean any another person should have same view on role of religion / society in interpreting and defining morality
BTW u seems to have stopped visiting my blog
February 21st, 2007 at 10:03 pm
And I don’t think the writer is the only one guilty of this, many so called “liberal minded” people ought to see who’s actually pointing fingers at whom.
PS: Have made up for past faults, have visited your politically incorrect blog.
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:10 am
Hi.
I thought I would expound on the comment that I said about Jesus. My blog readers know that I hate all religions and really rant when religious right expound on a certain way of life as being the best one (while saying others who are leading a perfectly normal life) as having it wrong.
As a biologist, I can safely say that abistenence does not work. Hormones and pheromones are powerful biological tools and invoking the feeling of guilt as touting sex as bad, as most religous groups tend to leads to a very confused young ones. And I really don\’t think God wants it one way or the other. If you believe Jesus/ Allah/ Or whatever Hindu god you can put here, asked you to remain pure - it is your choice, don\’t go about advocating it. If it is what your God wishes for you to do, I am OK with it. When it affects teens who would need the advice to go about sexual practices in a safe way, I am going to take a stance on it. It may in futture affect me or someone close to me.
I am tired of people using God and promoting abstinence. Or using God to mock homoseuals. I am just tired of taking the crap from the religious right. I don\’t understand why Atheist like me are expected to shut up and not point to a fundamental discrimatory veiw that all religions propogate.
February 22nd, 2007 at 2:42 am
@Melody — I have to agree with Sakshi on this. Your beliefs are your beliefs, but they become more than that when you are trying to bias/pressure/guilt others into thinking the way you do. This may be done by a casual look suggesting they are not doing things the \’correct\’ way. But more times than not, society pressures people to think and act a certain way by using religion. Sakshi is right to point out that the ones thinking differently (atheist)aren\’t standing up on Sundays telling people to go out and have sex or not have sex. The problem is that people use religion as a means of bulling other people into doing what they want. This is not freedom! You choose to save yourself, yet you have probably made a comment about another who has not. Why would this matter to you? Why does it matter to anyone? But sadly enough, it does.
Horrendous acts are done in the name of religion and whatever God you choose to name. Just imagine a world without religion and you can begin to imagine a world starting to find peace.
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:01 am
@Sakshi: Religion deals with a lot of topics besides sex and sexual norms are very specific to societies . not religions. You views on abstinence divergence from commonly held beliefs in India that hold the fabric of Indian societal relationships together. You still have a right to your views. But you are making the same mistake as fundamentalists by proclaiming that Melody is wrong and that you are right.
February 22nd, 2007 at 9:11 am
Only Ashutosh seems to gave gotten the point:
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:12 am
Wow….cool I get linked even when not needed.
Anyways will just add my two bits here.
I guess we all need to maintain sanity in life and we all have different ways to go about it. And as always not everyone thinks on the same straight line….but should that detter you from what you believe in? I don’t think so.
Some believe in letting it go by and some take a stance and Mel I am glad to see that you went with the second option.
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:13 am
Chunnu wants to go to Melody’s school (or college or university), Munnu wants to go to Sakshi’s school (or college or university), while Tunnu hates both and does not want to go to either!!
Now, can we look at Chunnu, Munnu and Tunnu with respect and dignity irrespective of which school they go to or dont go to!
Maybe a slogan Chunnu Munnu Tunnu bhai-bhai may help
And yeah, advertising by schools (or colleges or univesities) is ideally prohibited!
Lets leave the choice to them … Force them to gulp and they will puke!
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:23 am
Some lessons are hard to absorb, and sometimes the best way to learn to learn those is to make the mistakes you dread and fail!
Yeah.. that is relevant to the topic, look a little deeper and you will know!
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:38 am
Totally on the same page as you!
@ Jason: Munnus people are blaming religion, society etc etc etc for condemning them from making their choice a valid one all the while they themselves are putting down Chunnu’s people for making the choice they have.
Here was my point - not only should Chunnu & Munnu go to which school they want, they should also not put down the other for their preferences
February 22nd, 2007 at 3:41 pm
@Mel
Yes, desi girls are doing it.
Who else?
Me.
February 22nd, 2007 at 4:26 pm
@Melody
you might want to have a look at this website
http://www.dawneden.com/blogger.html
cheers
February 22nd, 2007 at 5:11 pm
With a majority marrying before the legal age, yes, they def are…
February 22nd, 2007 at 6:11 pm
@ Donmaths: Interesting! Thx for the link!
@ SloganMurugan: I’m sure they are Slo, but that was not the point of the post. See comment #6.
February 22nd, 2007 at 7:36 pm
@Melody/Ashutosh -
I never claimed my views were right or wrong. I am making a point by saying that invoking God in matters that ultimately affect society\’s health is not only foolish but dangerous.
People by far follow what that want to - my rant was about asking others to do it just because they believe it is right. A society is held by rational laws not by religion. Religion is immaterial to society\’s existance. There are enough social buggers out in the world that make the point clear.
Melody, You are entitled to your views. My only point is that after preaching abstinence, also point to a site that preaches safe sex. And I will do the reverse. All I care is about the safety of all those who come seeking advice and guidance to get all the information they need. It is a matter that affects the fabric of our society.
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:12 pm
Thank you Sakshi!
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:44 pm
No debates here at all….only encouragement. Understand people purely on how they lead their life and not words… examine the source before you analyze their words. If we all do this, we can understand each other better and appreciate one another.
I wish people could see that Christian doctrine and a faith walk are two different things. Walking in faith suggests that you fight temptation. The Bible alone (doctrine) defines what sins are, yet Christ came for sinners, Church is for those who are sinners, no one has arrived to perfection, yet Christ alone is perfect. Our goal is to become more and more Christ like each day. (I have a million Bible references, I will provide as needed).
I would like my thoughts to show that sacrificing and resisting temptation is a desire alone to please God. Not a pious trip to shame others (why would you get made if your spirituality or frame of reference suggest otherwise?!!?), yet a spiritual act of worship to consecrate our temple (the body) for God’s works and holiness. (Hahaha…also gives us a strong desire to marry, stay faithful to our husbands, and overall be extremely satisfied in our purpose)
In Christ,
Katy
February 22nd, 2007 at 10:56 pm
Hugs Katy dear
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:15 am
@Melody — I do understand exactly what you are saying. I don\’t think there is anything wrong with someone doing or not doing what they want, as long as the know why they are choosing what they are choosing. I am against the idea that keeping people in the dark will help fight the problem. That is not true. My stance comes more from the things that can hurt than what is thought to be \’the right\’ thing. I do not believe we should tell a AIDS ridden Africa to not have sex, and still not tell them how to protect themselves. KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Give people all the information and let them make their own choice. That is all I am saying. When someone tells people how they SHOULD think, instead of teaching them how TO think, we are doing an disservice to our younger generations. I totally support those that do not want to have sex before marriage. It IS a good thing. The world (especially America) is jumping into this to fast and the consquences are dire and something that is hard to overcome. I support your beliefs, I truly do. I just think that we should give all the information to everyone and let all choose based what they believe. Unless you have witnessed such things as AIDS on someone that is close to you, you do not understand the emotional trauma that comes with it. Sex is not something to be taken lightly in any country….and knowing all the information is a way to protect yourself and all of human kind. That was my point.
February 23rd, 2007 at 1:21 am
@Katy — I understand where you are coming from…but I have one question. If you do this so that you can become more christ-like, then why must so many Christians go on crusades to \’save\’ others. I find it ironic that you say this, when so many crusades are to India to \’save\’ the people that are Hindu. I had a very LONG conversation with a couple of preachers that talk about saving India.
Aren\’t followers supposed to be the most understanding and except everyone for who they are, and yet so many go to other religions to save them. And yet, I rarely find church crusades in downtown Chicago, where the people really need saving. Not a criticism, just something that I have never understood.
February 23rd, 2007 at 8:51 am
@Melody, Sakshi
I feel your readers would probably be better served if you articulated your reasons behind being pro/anti virginity.
@Sonya
So are these your views or views you feel you should be expounding for the betterment of mankind esp. next generations and Africa?
On judging and being judged, I\’d like to offer my 2c. We all do. Thats how we make our life choices, after all isn\’t it? I think people who expect not to be judged are probably in the same boat as those who expect not to be made to pay for their moral values - idealistic and often sadly mistaken.
cheers,
February 23rd, 2007 at 10:35 am
PFFFFTTTTT
thats my reaction
and well since i am a \’food\’ critic ….
February 23rd, 2007 at 11:22 am
Sakshi’s original post that accused me of “touting an angle” - all of you have your own angles on the matter at hand - and many have been quite freely touting them too!
All I’ve been saying is that I have a right to my view & my choice! Don’t ya think?
@ Roshan: At the end of the day, I don’t need to explain or justify my views nor does anyone else (though some have been trying hard to do just that).
That was not what this post was about - it’s about everyone having a right to their own views. People shouldn’t appear liberal minded & then judge others!
@ inexile: So foodie, have I won my bet yet, have I? Have I? Have I? Have I????
February 23rd, 2007 at 4:33 pm
no you havn\’t !! havent!! havent !!
February 23rd, 2007 at 10:59 pm
@Melody — What I was orginally saying is having your views and believing your is your choice. But it needs to be an informed choice. Not something crammed down your throat with the name of some religion or God attached to it. I was saying that Regilion is societies way of being a bully. By only telling one side, you are bullying people in thinking a certain way. I was in no way judging you for your beliefs. I don\’t approve of close-minded spouting of \’the way things should be done\’ because of religion. I don\’t think Sakshi was saying anything against your personal views either. I personally have no angle on Religion. I am not totally against it, but I don\’t know where I stand on it either. The choices you make are your own, just don\’t preach to me about why what I do is wrong. Sex or no sex should be a personal choice, not a religious choice. I wasn\’t being judmental at all about your views. I could care less to tell you the truth. I don\’t preach either way nor judge someone for thinking differently. I don\’t think my way of thinking is right at all. I just go on what I learn and change my beliefs by what I learn on a day to day basis. You def have ever right to what you believe and your views. If you didn\’t have different opinions then you would be boring! I AM judgemental against boring!
February 23rd, 2007 at 11:04 pm
@ Sonya:
Well then let’s just say that you don’t find me boring, eh?!
February 24th, 2007 at 3:55 am
abt sex and whatnot, rememebr we wrote the Kama Sutra folks
February 24th, 2007 at 10:46 am
February 25th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Melody, don’t let the bullies scare you. Part of being a Christian is caring about others. Sharing your views can help a lot of people in this confused and changing culture.
It seems atheism is hip today. This fad makes it easier to justify immediate gratification and selfish desires. Casual sex is a powderkeg. Some people think they can play with it and not get burned. India should not repeat the mistakes of the west. They should observe the social damage done by the sexual revolution.
Is a chain smoker who consuls the young to avoid his mistakes a hypocrite? Is it judgemental or intolerant to help someone overcome an addiction?
Fight the good fight!
February 25th, 2007 at 11:21 am
Don’t worry I won’t let anyone scare me into changing my views - just as I’m sure that Sakshi will not be scared into changing hers.
The thing is, if Sakshi had posted first, I wouldn’t care less - she’s entitled to her opinion even if I don’t agree with it.
But she chose to link to my blog & accuse me of “touting an angle”. That’s unfair imo, especially if you see she’s doing the same thing & more!
Anyway, am a bit tired of all this attention. Did not intend for this to be a preaching platform nor a debate place. Was just airing my views. Since they’re not universally accepted views, I can understand the controversy - but I’m saying this is what I believe in - you do whatever you think best for you.
AND (through this post) do not put me down for my preference, just because it differs from yours.
May 29th, 2009 at 1:28 pm
Is this topic Still open? I wish to opine here, if it’s not too late to do so.
I hope the tempers have cooled down on both ends of the pendulum. I mean, what are we arguing for here? I wish people come back and read about their own expressions leisurely.
I’m a religious conservative, social moderate and a fiscal liberal and I wish to take the following stand. “I’ve no right, legal, moral or otherwise, to question someones’ beliefs, or his/her way of living based on the values that he/she has prioritized herself for”. My views, and positions in life are for me! While I do not have to forfeit the right to express my views, I’ve absolutely no command over any other free soul. We can have a healthy debate on our points of respective views, as most part of this blog does, but we ought to keep our temperaments where they belong
Cheers,