The Voice In My Head…

Seriously, after all the recent are-we-doing-it-or-not controversy, are you even surprised?!

I went out with this guy a couple of months ago and during the course of our conversation he very simply stated that I was prude. In a manner that conveyed that he had always thought so.

I then took this online test: How much of a prude are you?

And on a scale of 0 - 100, I scored 75. Well.

I hate to break this to you, but you’re a tad on the uptight side. You tend to squirm at the mention of any “taboo” subject like sexuality, and have low tolerance for public nudity or vulgar language. Essentially, you’re a prude - which, by the way, is not such a bad thing. Maybe you’ve simply got high moral standards, or were raised to believe that certain things are just not meant for open discussion. You might even be an innocent person who’d rather not be tainted by the seedy side of life. There could be, however, a negative side to your prim and proper view of life; you may be ignoring some issues that really need to be discussed, not to mention missing out on some fun! Communication about sex, for example, is important for healthy intimate relationships, so don’t be shy! And activities a little on the “wild” side, like skinny-dipping for example, could be a real blast if you’d just let go of your inhibitions. Try opening your mind a bit, and you might discover that sometimes naughty is actually quite nice!

And I found this definition from Urban Dictionary

Prude - taken from the term “prod femmes” in pre-revolutionary France, meant that they were proud, wise, virtuous women. These days, it’s more of a discriminatory word, stating that women could be “too” proper, too wise, and so on, especially when not interested in sex. It’s also a word men *think* they can use in order to get women to perform sexual favors with them, and in order to put them down a notch - which in fact is absolute ***. The word prude may not seem like a good term, but it in fact is a compliment suggesting a lesser id and a higher intelligence and a stronger will and confidence than most.

Thank you, I am suitably complimented. I think.

If you desire a quickie meal (yes pervert, wasn’t talking about anything else, now beat it) then perhaps Bandra’s Carter Road is the place for you!

Carter Road has evolved from being the place to take a walk (the Promenade) or to walk your dog (it has a special doggie walk area) to the place to hang out with your friends (Joggers Park / the Promenade) to the place to come & sample a mix of Bombay’s food.

The road which turn off Carter Road from Cafe Coffee Day has been devoured by tons of little restaurants. Don’t be fooled however by their ambience into thinking they’re cheap places. Many of them (like Amore Gelato) have prices comparable with five star hotels. Even the cheaper restaurants are not very cheap. The price of eating in hip Bandra surrounded by hip Bandra-ites I guess.

If you venture a walk down the strip you’ll find Gelato Italiano, Kareems, Baskin Robbins, Amore Gelato, Mae Be, Crepe Station (one of my favorite breakfast places), Tangy Tamato, Zauo, Sheesha to name a couple!! Imagine so many restaurants in one little place - and this is not even counting the fancier places like Shatranj, Olive, Out of the Blue which are just a little down the road!

(From the above picture, you can see the ‘Mumbai Police’ road blocks ala Alister Pereira are still all over the place)

My friend (who lured me out of the house after a hard days work with promises of pizza) finally (with all the choice!) decided on ‘Kwik Wok’. I’m neither big on Chinese food nor Street dining but I thought it’ll be ok since I’ve never eaten there & I could do a review on my blog (see what I’ll endure for you my blog readers!).

While I had a nice time catching up with my friend, I didn’t find the food anything exceptional. It was regular what I term “cart Indian-Chinese” food. The prices averaged Rs. 150/- and the quantities were good. It’s not too bad if Chinese is your thing. On looking at the napkins, I discovered it had ‘Kareem’s’ all over it - apparently it is owned by Kareem, who has the place next door and another huge place in Lokhandwala - he’s obviously doing very well for himself!

I have this friend. Recently he’s caught a bug. A YouTube bug.

Suddenly almost every post of his has a YouTube video. Some posts have more than one. And if all that’s not enough, there’s now a special ‘Video Watch’ section in the left column dedicated especially to just that.

And while I still enjoy his blog - I just can’t get myself around to YouTubing (if that indeed is a word). So, without further ado, I present to you, the:

Reasons I don’t

(01) Indian ISPs: I have lamented about that sorry state of the many ISPs I’ve have the misfortune of using. I finally got the one I’m using now - and it’s fine (so far, so good, fingers crossed). But still, it’s not like it’s heaven for YouTube (or any other videos online).

(02) Limited Connection: Well I have what’s called a “12pm - 8am unlimited download” connection but that means I have to surf beween those hours to have unlimited downloads. Any downloads done in normal waking hours eats into my limited connection. Yup, and that’s outta my pretty pocket. And correct me if I’m wrong - but videos eat a lot of broadband.

(03) I’m already addicted to the internet: I know this kinda sounds like a silly reason not to YouTube - it’s almost like I’m saying I know I will love it therefore I’m staying away from it. Hang on, that’s IS what I’m saying. I’m scared of getting addicted to it. I have no more time to give to the internet, between my blogs & my sites & the other surfing - So, I’m Just Saying No.

(04)I’m Old Fashioned: when it comes to TV anyway. I really prefer watching TV on TV. I don’t know. Sue me. As for other people’s videos I’m not really sure I want to go there yet.

So this is what I do. I don’t YouTube. Before any of you sensible ones who read this imagine I’m even partially suggesting / touting / preaching to you to not watch the videos on YouTube, I’m not. All I’m saying is that I don’t.

The Sept 06 cover of The New Yorker showed how much YouTube has become a part of the new generation’s daily life. I guess by the amazing popularity of the site, I probably form a miniscule part of the internet addicted who don’t YouTube. For now anyway.

I done it! I’ve beaten Sakshi Juneja (the self proclaimed Rakhi Sawant online PR agent) at her own game! Yes siree-bob! There was news about Rakhi Sawant and I posted it first.

In fact, I’ve just thought of a silly joke.

Q: What would happen if we mixed Sakshi Juneja & Rakhi Sawant -
A: we’d get a big boobed Rakshi Saweja who did “item blogging” on other people’s blogs.

Yes, this is how utterly juvenile I’ve become.

On a more mature note - check out - and add to your feeds if you like - the new in town DESI DABBA for all you need to know about what’s on Indian Television! From interviews with the TV stars to the hottest gossip, news as it happens, reviews and much more.

I know this post is kinda naughty of me, but I’m in that sorta mood

Let me start at the beginning.

I wrote a post called “So, are desi girls doing it or not?”.

The post got several reactions. Caused one to make a follow up post. Caused others to make posts of their own. It even made someone get violently ill. But I digress.

Somewhere, in the middle of the madness of that post, one stranger commented. He said:

@Mel - Yes, desi girls are doing it.

Who else?
Me.

Panic suddenly overtook the stranger & my cell number was procured (damn, I didn’t think it was so easy) and I was given hasty explanation of how every email is signed “Who else? Me.” and how it naturally could be misunderstood given the context of the post & the comment. Naturally.

On doing some homework of my own though, I found out that the original comment as it stands seems to be true. The stranger even apparently gives gifts out after the act:

Post Script: Made in jest. Of course. Mostly. Stranger, please don’t do anything drastic like quit your job over this post or anything…

Doing a google search on “Desi girls and virginity and sex” can have many repercussions.

You may find yourself on a certain Sakshi’s blog (not apna Juneja, this is another Sakshi) and may end up being the catalyst for an interesting post on desi girls not doing it.

Of course, you may even find my personal views on virginity part of the discussion.

While Sakshi starts of by saying that “virginity or induging in sex is a personal choice” she also says “abstaining because that is what Jesus said, might work for some but not for most, so stop touting that angle”.

While I don’t judge anyone else for their views, I always find it amazing how many people judge me for mine. Am I not allowed my personal choice too without being accused of ‘touting an angle’? Hmmm?!

If you ask me, “Are desi girls doing it or not?“, I’d tell you that it’s none of my business.

My business is to be true to my God, to myself, and to my personal principles. And I’ve already stated what those are.

Even as the new prequel Hannibal Rising (released about a week ago) has already drawn in $23 million at the US box office, I can’t help but reflect on the similarities between the fictitious Hannibal & the very real sicko Moninder Singh.

More to follow. Watch this space.

Back in Bombay & already hitting the parties! Thursday night went out with a close friend of mine who’s just in from DXB and who apparently, in three short months, has forgotten that most (all?) non-hotel based restaurants in the middle of the night will be closed. Instead of going to Vistas (24 hour heaven!) I decided to head north to Juhu & check out the new & improved Hotel Sea Princess.

(The renovated lobby)

After getting there I found out that only the facade of the building and the lobby itself is renovated. The rest of the place, including the shops & the coffee shop is exactly as it was. I was highly dissapointed because considering the amount of time the hotel was closed for renovation, I thought they could have at least done up the coffee shop - you know, changed the look in some way or the other. Anyway after club sandwiches (my usual at Sea Princess) ordered a chocolate mousse which was good, so no complaints

Friday night had plans to check out the new and apparently hip & happening place to be at in Bombay right now- and the name has just slipped my mind (what was it, something in A… hmmm?). Didn’t end up going as I had a looong day at work and another long day on Saturday to look forward to. Saturday night was a bit ridiculous even for Bombay standards - I had 5 parties to go to. Ending up going to a wedding, was very very happy I did because I met up with a close friend whom I haven’t met in a while. Following the wedding went to a house dinner party. Was actually thinking about going to one of the other parties following that but due to an annoying nigling little cold that was building up, I decided to head home & get some rest instead.

(click to enlarge)

Sunday after Mass headed over to Arima’s place. Let me at this point tell you about my friend Arima. Arima lives in a bookstore. No, seriously. She has these huge racks of books in her living room & her bed is, on any given day I’ve seen it, also covered in books. Sometimes she calls me to give her advice on which book to start reading of the books she has just bought & is probably staring at in glee on the other end of the phone. On asking her for descriptions of the books - intially erroneously thinking there’ll be 2 or 3, I usually get upto a dozen different descriptions on books ranging from Indian Poets (on which she is an authority, imo) to anything and everything else madam can get her hands on. She’s just the type of friend I needs to help me get through my 24 books for 2007 effort. And yes, she did lend me “Love & Longing in Bombay”, with some not so nice looks on finding out I didn’t know who Vikram Chandra was. More of that convo at my 24 books for 2007 page - where you can suggest a book you think I “just have to” read.

After Arima’s, headed over to another close friend’s place for lunch. Was unfortunately by this time feeling terrible. And here’s some advice for anyone who’s not doing so good - find a baby you love & you’re sure to feel better! Here’s me with my angel god-daughter (one of my 2 god-babies!) who’s now almost 9 months but already looking huge!

Was still not doing too good after that so decided to skip theatre at St. Andrew’s plans and head back home & relax. Which apparently was a GREAT idea because I became sick as a lug since. Most of the waste-paper bins at home now look like this:

Yes, you’ll only find pictures of used tissue paper on my blog.

Now you know why you come here so often.

It was a fuuuuunn couple of days! Will post in my travel blog as soon as I get the time.

Incidentally, I do not appreciate the large numbers of you who mailed / msged to remind me to “not get more tanned”. HUMPH. I’ll let you know, I am still fair and lovely - well, ok fine, wheatish and lovely. Damn this sounds like a matrimonial ad. Scratch this all off. To other things…

If any of you read the newspapers, you’ll have seen a little bit of Melody in last Friday’s Westside Plus (a Times of India Supplement). A big thank you to Nita Deb (of ‘Sandra’s Bandra’ fame) who incidentally is also a regular reader of this blog. I am floored. An honor indeed.

Was also floored to see the number of questions you guys have asked both on the blog & via email! Will attempt to answer you all over the weekend.

Also on checking the blogosphere, was surprised (should I have been though? hmmm) to see so much Valentine’s Day mushy posts out there. Enough of mushy-goo-I-love-you stuff, to make me enjoy Ideasmithy’s post on reasons a woman should stay single! Here’s to sexy, sultry, single women who like men but who aren’t bummed out that they aren’t married to one yet!

And seriously, is anyone else TOTALLY ANNOYED at the amount of messages one gets from totally random people wishing you a Happy Valentine’s Day??!! One message I received was from a newly married supplier - someone I hardly even talk to - at the place I work. huhhh???

Is it just me or was the day supposed to be a special something between two people who were “in love” with each other?

Now don’t be like my friend R and ask me “What’s the difference between loving someone and being in love with someone?”. That’s a whole different post and if you don’t know the answer to that, all I can say is, don’t message me next Valentine’s day.

That privilege is apparently reserved for all the people who are in love with me - at least in their heads (because I don’t buy any of the “I just met you & I’m in love with you” crap) and for ghosts of Christmases past who call and ask “Why haven’t you wished me yet?” whaa-huh??

Based on the above, you may think I’m against Valentine’s Day, but no, I’m not - trust me, I’m not one of them Shiv Sainiks, who were upto their usual tricks this year & in the past have attempted renaming the day “Prostitution Day”.. (Let’s not say anything against those chaps though, perhaps the closest thing they’ve experience to love is prostitution).

But there are a few things about Valentine’s day that make me really want to whack someone on the top of the head - like the random people msging wishes thing - and the fact that it’s become a free-for-all information highway for people who are curios about other people’s personal lives – seriously! – I got asked questions like, “Who are you going out with tonight?” and “Who have you wished today?”

To all those who asked: Wait, I’ll email you a frigin list.

While I attempt to make sense of these daunting things, will leave you with pleasant memories from Goa:

Really don’t want to write the about me page, despite all this but will answer all your questions. Here goes:

Jags - Why/how and when did you take up blogging?
I’m a diarist. Have been a diarist as long as I can remember - I have diaries from waaaay back when I was in lower school. It’s always been amazing for me to go back, look at my life, see the things I used to think about or do, the guys I used to like, my baby handwriting, the way I thought, the way I lived.

Blogging seemed a natural extension. I started blogging way back in 2002 at another url. However due to my personal life being a bit more on display than I wanted to I deleted the old blog. Started again a few months later, in October of 2004 & you can find all those entries right here at TVIMH.

This url (TVIMH.com) incidentally was a birthday gift from my brother Ajay who is an annoying brilliant whiz when it comes to the world wide web & whom I run to everytime I screw something up when playing around with my css files

Shiv - How do u even manage to go out so often, and do u carry a camera around ur neck all the time???
I am a hyper-active lil thingie. It’d be hard to tie me down too often - though even I have my off days. I love life, am completely extroverted, love my friends, love meeting new people, love going out to new places, eating good food, getting all dressed up, dancing, generally being me. But one sec, that’s the answer to WHY I go out so often. How do I go out? Usually by car. An effective way to travel in Mumbai.

And no, there’s no camera around my neck, it’s on my trusty lil cell phone without which I’d be lost. Really!

Matz - loved the bees saal baad post…..nice to see you still look the same! HOW?
Running behind men who don’t want me & running away from those who do. And yes, that would explain why I’m still single.

Oneil - does god really exist or are your beliefs just a figment of someones imagination?
I know God exists. He’s very very very real to me. The question really is - and this could apply to most of you my commenters - do you really exist or are you figments of someone’s imagination??

Rahul Kumar - You say you were born and raised in Bombay, and you also mentioned in one of your posts you would rather live in Bombay (because you love India for its religions etc) than in any foreign country. My question to you is how come you don’t understand Hindi or Marathi ( I am wondering if you speak Konkani) and are able to speak French. It’s as if you went out of your way (avoid) not to study these Indian languages. How come?
Wow, a rather long question eh Rahul?! You’ve also answered the question yourself and are now asking me to justify your answer!

The truth is that I just didn’t pick up Hindi / Marathi as fluently as I’d wish. I do understand & speak both languages but I am far from as good as one who’s been born & brought up here could be. About the French, I studied it in school where it was compulsary & I’m sure the French would be as appalled at my French as the Maharashtrians are with my Marathi. Makes you feel better now?

Ravi -If God appears before you and grants you a wish, what would your wish be and why ?
Easy one. I’d ask for every wish I’d make in the future to be granted.

I say easy because I actually thought of the answer to this question a long time ago when I was a little girl & wandered on beaches looking for bottles with genies to release. I knew I had to keep an answer ready for them questioning genies.

SwB - Do you think about the future a lot or just take it one day at a time?
Both I guess, but more of the latter. I’ve more of less committed God to taking care of my life so I don’t worry too much about the future but try to enjoy every moment I can in the present. It’s also that I don’t know when I’ll be called away from this life - some of my friends think my views on impending death are rather morbid - but I believe that it makes me enjoy the present so much more.

Stranger - So what would make you fall you in love?
I’ll call you when I know the answer to that.

In fact, I’ll write a book.

Ravi - What are the names of your doggies ? ..hmm talking about names, whenever you have kids ( in the future ..) what would you like to name them as ? Please give 2 names for a girl and boy each.
Lol! My doggies are Tiffany (who’s a very naughty Lhasa Apso), Tamara (the most intelligent black Labrador that ever lived), Snoopy (my darling talking Dalmatian) & Tanner (an Alsation & our naughtiest doggie to date!).

About kids, I guess that’ll be something I decide with my husband - if & when I get married & have kids! I’m rather partial to Biblical names though, so lets see!

Prem - What is your idea of a perfect guy?
Ran a contest asking my readers what the thought my answer to that question was. Here’s what they said & here are the results!

Prem - What if a Tall dark Handsome stranger whom you see for the first time asked you out for a date ? Would you accept the offer or take it slow and get to know him better before going out with him ?
Are you tall, dark and handsome & wanting to ask me out? Are you short, fair & ugly and wanting to ask me out? Do you really think I’ll make life easier for y’all & tell you whether I’d accept your offers before you made ‘em?! No-siree-bob!!

FreakO - Do you always tilt your head to your left when you smile?
Yes, mostly. See you’re not the only freako.

Sherriff - as a newly appointed spokesperson for the bollywood lemme ask one..lol…why dont u watch bollywood movies? …do i have a permission to ask one more….is this post hint for someone…that ur waiting for the million dollar question? lol…is it my imagination going weird or juss the timing of the post…a week before the valentine’s day
I don’t watch bollywood movies because I don’t get the language too well, the duration of most of them are rather too long for me, I do not particularly like song/dance sequences in between movies and I find most of the plots rather inane. I also believe that the worldwide audience for bollywood flicks is so large that no one ought to grudge me this little preference (or lack of one) of mine.

Permission granted for question 2! And the answer is, no. I rather hope as and when Mr. Perfect does come into my life, he wouldn’t need hints to prompt him to pop the question. It is your imagination. I suggest watching less bollywood flicks.

(Not done with answering you guys, you’ll sure did ask a lot of questions. Watch this space for updates. Dnd do feel free to ask some more questions if you want, just as I will feel free not to answer if I don’t want.)