Rewind my life to almost a decade ago- and you’d see me with two really close friends (till date!) Jan & Ally. It was Ally’s bday - which as it happens, always falls on World Aid’s Day.
Ally just turned 18 that year & we (Jan & I) being the naughty ones in the group decided to buy her what we thought at the time to be the naughtiest gift ever - a pack of condoms.
So off the two of us went to the chemist near where we lived, too scared to buy them alone, too excited not to.
We entered into the chemist, both of us red in the face & asked the woman (mercifully there was one, imagine the horrors having to ask a guy!) behind the counter for some *ahem* condoms, please.
I was the one who did the asking, Jan just stood near me for the moral support I needed in this enormously brave task we had undertaken.
The woman went and got us some red packets of ‘Kama Sutra’. One said “ribbed for extra pleasure”. It made the two of us get extra red in the face and naturally we chose that one.
While paying for the condom packet, I suddenly got all shy & felt the need to tell the woman -
“Don’t worry they’re not for me”
To which she promptly replied, “I’m not worried even if are”. Blush again. Darn.
Of course to make matters worse my cousin happened to walk into the chemist at that very moment. Geez, was I ever going to live this down?
Jan & I grabbed our ‘purchase’ as quickly as we could & made our way to Allys house. The excitement was almost too much to bear. We decided, what the heck, gift or no gift, let’s peek inside and see what it’s all about…
Turned out that it was fully illustrated with the wheres & how tos. Sure, we’d been to Sex Ed class but this was a little too graphic. The two of us too embarrassed to even look at each other anymore, quickly closed the packet and were very relieved to arrive at Allys and dump the packet onto her.
Of course, in the course of the party we could’t resist telling her what we had gotten her - and Ally of course, refused to take them. Lovely.
So now we have a whole bunch of giggling/embarassed/exicted young girls passing a solitary packet of condoms around, one to another, each one not wanting to be stuck with the horrible thing - all the while ever so mindful that Ally’s parents were among us, and God only knew what would happen if they saw it…
Party over. Somehow the condoms end up back with me… “since you paid for them”. Double darn.
I hid them as best I could - it was a small little packet - but it was my tell-tale, ever so loudly, beating heart, I was worried about when I got home. In my haste to get rid of them - surely I couldn’t throw it in the garbage lest someone see it - I hid it away in a very good place.
And then, yes brilliantly, I forgot where I hid them.
For the longest time ever, I worried if someone else should find them, what would happen to me? My parents would surely kill me…
And then of course, in time I forgot all about them.
Untill yeaaaaars later, when cleaning out an old cupboard, inside a box of many boxes, I found the little red packet…
Ally, happy birthday darling! … fyi, am holding your gift for you still.
To the rest of you, I’ll end with a message I saw spray-painted on a wall once, in a bid to stop the spread of Aids. Tad crude but sums up my beliefs too:
“No one before marriage - Only one after marriage”.
… and since this post is mostly silliness, though it’d be good to provide a link to sensible information this World’s Aids Day:
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December 1st, 2006 at 9:24 pm
LOL, awesome incident.
But hey apparently 4 yrs. is the max life of a condom so please dont gift it to anyone now
December 1st, 2006 at 10:13 pm
aaaaah…so true..!! those little rubber buoys are the only things that can save humanity from drowning !!
December 1st, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Naughty lil Mel was up to her tricks, hmm??? Hee hee hee…
That reminds me of that episode in Friends where the friends get stuck in a room when Ross and Rachel are arguin… Joey pulls out a box he’d kept there since last time they got stuck the same way with no food.
(note: this aint verbatim)
Chandler: Condoms? Why condoms?
Joey: Just in case the world comes to an end, and we’re the last 4 people left. And the future of the human race depends on us.
Chandler: And for that, we need condoms.
December 1st, 2006 at 10:55 pm
hey, even we did something like that, but when were in college. it was
so silly and we had so much fun giggling like sickos.
December 1st, 2006 at 11:25 pm
We did something similar in our Class 12th visit to Mussourie..It was FUN..how eager we girls were to explore n increase our gk
December 2nd, 2006 at 12:12 pm
I was studying in a boys school in Class XII and the only interaction in school with girls was in inter school fest…something naughty and big had to be done….we all were of the firm belief that even girls were expecting something outrageous from us….how cud we disappoint them…condoms were purchased nervously, blown into ballons and hung in the girls green room…what a scandal it was
December 2nd, 2006 at 12:32 pm
“No one before marriage - Only one after marriage”.
You must be kiddin !!
December 2nd, 2006 at 1:37 pm
ROFL here…..awesome post…
December 2nd, 2006 at 3:47 pm
LOL…really funny post! I was reminded of the time we bought a pack for a friend on his birthday and the shameless show-off that he was, he opened it right in the party and proceeded to cap a knife with it to demonstrate…and then cut the cake with it. Eww…
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:00 am
ROTFL … that was hilarious
I too remember my first condom buying experience. It was because of one those college ragging prank by one of my senoir. Get a pack of condoms !
I was so nervous and embarassed, but the chemist was so professional. Asked me which brand and handed me one. When I got back to hostel the senior told me keep it with myself and then for the first time I peeked inside the condom pack.
Was enlightened about procedure and the howto’s …. lol
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:22 am
@ Lothario: Thought of you last night… went to a night club called “Shiro” - which is different from your name Chiro but sounds the same!
@ dev: lol… I totally love every episode of Friends - I can still laugh like crazy though I’ve seen them all so many times… great show..
@ Dharmu (or is it Dharma now
?): Glad to know that there are others who were equally silly when little!!
@ Mehak: “increase our gk” - yes, education is a vital part of life
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:23 am
@ Saks: Actually no! It’s basic Catholic funda - and I think, a pretty moral (besides healthy) way to live really.
@ Harsha:
ty ty
@ IdeaSmith: Yeewww….!!! Have (since this episode & further enlightenment) heard there are scented/flavored condoms (true ppl??) … perhaps he just wanted to add that “je ne sais quoi” to the cake??
@ Ravi: And that was how they ragged you?! Wow you got off easy, lol.
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:08 pm
LOL
AWESOME!! 
One of these days I’ll take charge of my buddy’s medic shop, maybe, for a day or two you know. And then maybe I’ll try and embarass the hell out of any first-timer dude who might come to buy a pack.
I’ll be like, “You asked for condoms right?”, shouting at the top of my voice. And then I’ll smile at other customers (I’ll make sure there is atleast one) knowingly - “Kids these days” sort of smile
If the dude happens to blush, even slightly, I’ll unleash the unanswerable - “What size?” 
Awright, just kidding. Awesome post
December 3rd, 2006 at 12:14 pm
Noojes was here
December 3rd, 2006 at 11:37 pm
Hi Mel sweetie,
loved yr post and yr experience! You write very well!
So did you also drop in at the Hard Rock cafe next door?Heard its pretty impressive!
How did you like shiro? Maybe a post with a review on shiro would be swell!
December 4th, 2006 at 4:46 am
this is an awesome story. a bud once left his wallet with me (in bbay days) and of course he had 2-3 condoms stuffed in them. i took his wallet and threw it in my desk drawer. until one day i got home and my mom (yes mom) decided to explain to me why unmarried sex was not a good idea… i took the rap like a man coz i didn’t wanna sell Russ out.
Russ, if u ever remember this or read this comment, you owe me one BIG TIME buddy…(a beer i mean, straight from Vetters in Heidelberg)
December 4th, 2006 at 8:31 am
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! More than 10 years later and I still can’t forget my “condom-condemned” birthday gift! Thanx for recapping that in detail! I can still remember thinking, “What if mum & dad find them?” (esp. since I’d just started dating B). No wonder I gave them back to you!!
December 4th, 2006 at 9:54 am
nice blog. very busy!!!
December 4th, 2006 at 10:00 am
The funny part is, buying Condoms should come as naturally as buying a chocolate. Its only when that happens will we actually begin to show an improvement in the fight against AIDS.
Fact is, the shyness and the innocence on sex is proving to be the biggest obstacle in the fight against AIDS.
Anyway, its all about awareness. Spread the message!
December 4th, 2006 at 12:49 pm
LOLzzz ..nice one though !!
December 4th, 2006 at 2:58 pm
“No one before marriage - Only one after marriage”.
Jai Melody Devi
December 4th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
Okhay, lemme go back few years in time, class 10th I was, got a suppa cheap condom as bdday gift, i thnk was a pack of eight with some silly hindi scriblings on it…
Half of them went bust while playing football with blown up condoms and half were put on my frnds bike
Some othr grt gifts i got included a a doodh ki bottle and cerelac…
quite contrasting both the gifts
, i mean yeh baad waali and the former one…
btw i have written u about me without even readin ne of ur post, gimme some prize mel…
December 4th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
We did the same to a friend in the hostel! After managing the feat of getting the pack from Asiatic, all of us had a good look, then blew them and hung them in her room!
This also reminds me of a friend of ours who was carrying the same condom in his wallet for years!
December 4th, 2006 at 10:43 pm
@ Vishal: Your first time here? Welcome to tvimh! Thx for what you wrote, glad you like. Have already reviewed HRC & Shiro - usually do review the places I go to & yes, did like them both very much. Cya around!
@ Oneil: i didn’t wanna sell Russ out … but I’ve only decided to post his name on the internet???!!
@ Ally: Heeeeeeyyy you got here!!! Trust you had the happiest birthday ever… Love you lots!
@ Yogustus: Another first-timer! Welcome & thank you
December 4th, 2006 at 10:44 pm
And I’m not so sure about the whole “Condoms should come as naturally as buying a chocolate” thingie either. Am pretty big an advocate of keeping one’s virginity before marriage & monogamy after.
@ saaya:
thx!
@ desh: Thank you, loyal subject. You may stand now.
Lol to your second comment & about the contest, not judged the entries yet. Will see what I can do for you!
@ anumita:
lol… it’s funny - everyone seems to have a condom story!!
December 5th, 2006 at 12:01 pm
dont miss this!… can be a good present for your friend!
http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets.....219001.php
December 5th, 2006 at 3:45 pm
You didnt get me. I am not stating my opinion on premarital sex.
All i am saying is that anyone who wants to buy a condom should be able to do so without feeling the slightest bit weird / uncomfortable, as so many of us do!!
As far as your virginity is concerned, HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!…..
December 5th, 2006 at 11:43 pm
@ Pensive: Ah. Now I understand thee!
Stop hmmmming already now.
December 12th, 2006 at 10:59 am
Well, We didn’t have an Sex Ed unfortunately, but we had a lot of people with full access to porn mags, books, and movies. So much for a healthy education! And since the curiosity and awe about condoms would last for about until the minute you have seen one. I changed my statement later.
So, in 8th grade, a friend and I decided to see what the hue and cry was all about. Geek that I was/am, my questions to the chemist were pretty straight-forward. How do I make sure that there are no holes in the condom? Poor chemist was hearing such a question for the first time, and didn’t really know what to say!
I showed him the statistics printed on the condom mentioning the 98% contraption security. What about the other 2%! Then we walked to the friend’s house and decided to fill it with water just to see how much water could the thing hold! I can assure you, it can hold a lot of water.
Now, I wanted to see the breaking capacity. So, an empty bucket was kept right below the water-filled contraption. Aaah…what a pain! The thing just refused to break. [The awe about condoms remained until I used one later in life.]
December 12th, 2006 at 11:08 am
Just read your response to Pensive’s comments. Well, each to his/her own (beliefs). But I would like to refute the statement that’s posted towards the end - No one before marriage, only one after marriage! Well, this statement doesn’t propagate the use of condoms; it is sheer propaganda for some tenet of Hinduism or Baptism. And…in the same breath…What if the dear partner (spouse) is busy merry-making with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. On the same lines, you would probably agree with - ‘Just don’t have Sex’. Abstinence is probably the best solution
December 12th, 2006 at 11:26 am
About your next comment, as you said “to each his own”.
December 12th, 2006 at 9:35 pm
Yeah, ‘Each to his own’ about believing what they want to believe for whatever reasons that justify their beliefs. But wouldn’t you agree with what I mentioned! Sounds logical, doesn’t it!
December 12th, 2006 at 9:46 pm
You can read my view on Virginity here - so no problem if the partner’s not one.
Would be a problem if he’s out with Toms, Dicks & Harrys though!
December 23rd, 2006 at 11:22 am
First timer at your blog.
Your story reminded me of a rather interesting incident that happened to me. And inspired me to write about it on my blog. Here’s the link to the story.
December 27th, 2006 at 6:15 am
Cute story
Didnt know that it came with a HOWTO
December 27th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
@ 28yrsold: You’re 28 and not seen one
??? Interesting story there itself!! lol…