The Voice In My Head…

… so if you haven’t posted an entry & still want to do so, this is your chance!

Post here.

I’m sure every religion has it’s own idiosyncrasies & Catholicism is no exception. Though yesterday I’m not sure if it was Catholicism and not the Catholics to blame.

It’s like this: Before a couple is allowed to get married in the Catholic Church, there are several things they must do. One of these is submit to the Church certain basic details like their complete names, along with the complete names of their families & proof of permanent residing address etc.

The Church in turn then reads notices (usually at a particular Mass on Sunday, being the most crowded) to the general janta (Church term: congregation) attending which may go something like this:

“This is to announce the Marriage Banns of:

Anthony Gonsalves (excuse me pls)
bachelor s/o Andrew James Gonsalves and Victorina Gonsalves
residing at 112, Imaginary St, Chembur, Bombay

with

Mary Jane D’Souza
spinster d/o Peter John D’Souza and Martha Anne D’Souza
residing at 111, Imaginary St, Chembur, Bombay

If anyone knows any impediments as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, inform the Church accordingly.”

‘Banns’ like these are read almost every Sunday as people get married throughout the year in our Churches - approximately a month before the wedding (which is I suppose to give people enough of time to phrase their impediments should they wish to submit them?)

It’s probably a safer (but definetely less fun for the janta) alternative to some Christian Churches who announce during the Nuptial ceremonies itself “Speak now, or forever hold your peace” where honestly I’m sure there are people wishing someone objects, just for the drama of it all. What fun!

Catholics Banns have kinda changed over the years though. Now - for some absurd reason - people await the reading of their banns in Church and after the Masses, people congratulate them. Some people even have ‘Bann parties’ after their banns are read & invite the whole family to come celebrate.

Celebrate what though? is the question -

* that their names were read in public? (yes, yipee)
* or that their names were read correctly in public? (nah, this hardly ever happens, what with at least 10 proper nouns per bann)
* maybe it’s the fact that no one has objected yet?
* or for those getting cold feet - maybe it’s a celebration of the fact that there’s hope… I can just see some poor sweaty-palmed groom-to-be thinking “I can’t break this off this far down the line - but maybe someone will… Please God, let them object”

One of my two “best friends” (aww) Del (whose type I’m shameless running down here, never mind she hardly reads my blog) had her banns read yesterday. In another church, not so far away, the banns of her future husband (assuming of course no one objects) Eli’s banns were also being read. Their Bann ‘lunch’ party started after Mass and went well into the evening (after which some of us ‘kids’ went out to have coffee & more to eat).

(click to enlarge)

I wore a new beautiful black silk kurta/pant suit with stone & sequin work down the front & one the sleeves & super sexy sequinned shoes to match - why? - to honor of the special moment. Yes, I guess I’m as mad as the rest of the macs.

Here’s to you two! Let’s hope no one objects

More on Banns here (for high fundu Catholic explanation) and here (simple Wiki explanation)

Even as I type this, there’s a party going on celebrating Gaurav’s bday. There are people (well two who I met anyway) who’ve come in from different parts of the country just celebrate his bday. There’s music. Cocktails. Mocktails. People dancing. People hitting on each other. People hitting each other.

There were even some guys who “forgot” there were lap dances given… or comments made in most I-want-you tones - “Come on… Gaurav, give yaar…” (see Amit, I’m being nice & not mentioning your name.) Oops. Well it’s not like I linked to you or anything. Oops again? There goes my chances of ever being invited to any A-lister blogging events. Oh well.

Can’t end the post without thanks to the oh-so-lovely Sakshi who drove me there & back (it’s a wonder I reached in one piece though madam has been driving since her ninth standard!) and who also filled me up with (more!) bollywood gup. Incidentally, if you’re a Rakhi Sawant fan, you should read her blog. Yes, enough said already.

In conclusion:
Here’s to you G! May the year ahead be amazing. God bless.

I’m an avid James Bond fan - grew up on ALL the films, so naturally followed the whole casting for the new Bond.

However, when I first learnt that it was going to be Daniel Craig this was my reaction -

the world finally has a new 007 - and his name is Daniel Craig. And I think he’s stark ugly. But hey, that’s just me.

Especially after super cutey Pierce, I was sure that ugly whathisname would be a poor and sub-standard replacement to the Bond legacy.

And then came Casino Royale.

Firstly, let me eat humble pie and admit I was not only wrong - I was WAAYY WRONG. Daniel Craig looks the part, exudes the part, he IS the part.

The movie, based on Ian Fleming’s first 007 novel by the same name, is kinda like ‘Batman Begins’ - it takes us to the starting of the story - it shows us a common hero and how he got there.

To this extent Bond is a beginner in the double 0 missions &
* is not even a double 0 in the start of the film - but we see how he becomes so
* is no longer the suave lady killer - but we see how he becomes so
* is no snazzy dresser - but we see how he becomes so
* has got no astin martin - but we see how he gets one

I particularly missed the title Bond music (tada tada ta da da, you should know what I mean) which plays through every film - there was unfortunately for me only just a tad-wee-little-hint of it at the very very fag end of the movie.

I also missed all the fancy gadgets. Some critics claim Bond is more realistic in this film - and he is - but the start of the film sees one of the villain with John-Woo-esq power to jump and fly all over the place (very crouching tiger, hidden dragon esq) while poor Bond’s taking a beating. Ok, we’ll buy.

Daniel for his part looks superb. His body is perfect. His attitude is just right for a beginner Bond who’s not yet polished into the lady-eating/villain-killing machine he becomes into.

There’s a lot more that I can add but really I wouldn’t want to give away any part of the plot or even give you a basic outline.

I’ll just say what every critic in the world has said - the movie’s fantastic. The actors are outstanding. You have to go see it.

Before I end, I have to quote what is UNdoubtedly my favorite line of the entire movie. Loved it –

The bartender asks Bond if his Martini should be “Shaken or stirred?”. And Bond says “Do I look like I give a damn?”.

Go Craig. Go Casino Royale. If you’re a Bond person, you’re gonna love this. Super Fabulous stuff.

Oh Mr. Rahul Mahajan? Well, will ya, will ya?

Especially since your now (less than) three month old marriage is on the rocks? And since your beaten up wifey (I’m sure whatever it was, she deserved it) is showing pics of her bruised arm to newspapers??

The only negative thing I can think of (which may put you off marrying me) is my daddy dear may not be as kind to you as Shweta’s:

Shweta’s father … added that the bruise was the result of a toss that Shweta had taken while riding a bicycle

That aside, we will probably have a rocking, snorting life together.

So, what say you? Marry me (I have strong arms!)… Will ya? Will ya? Please???

Related Insanity:
Rahul Mahajan applies for Sainthood!

Update, 22nd Nov.
From The Mid-Day - Will the real Shweta please stand up?

on the honeymoon… Shweta had told MiD DAY… Rahul virtually slept through the trip… His snoozing and the endless massages he got done from professional masseurs bothered her.

MASSEUR = Male Massage Therapists.
Do a google on Masseur & see how many times the words ‘Gay Massage’ comes up. Are we surprised? No, not really. (for more non-surprises read the entire article in the link above).

Been there. Done that. Have the dark circles under my eyes to prove it.

Can’t possibly sit to recount all my adventures these last couple of days - (a) because they’re too long & (b) because I have to go out & have some more adventures right about now… (yes, I love my life!)

So at the risk of ppl yelling at me for putting up too many pics, here’s a photo diary of what I’ve been upto:

Been BUSY BUSY BUSY at work mostly. And though all my friends did and though I wished as hard as I could, I did not see Brangelina when I was at the Taj Mahal this week. Oh well.

Close friend of mine left to check out whether the grass really is greener on the other side (crossing my fingers for you hon!) - before he left we checked out this South American burger place called ‘Bembos‘ (somewhere on SV Road in Bandra). My reco? Sorry, stay with McDonald’s people, the service is better & the burgers are better too. Only thing that I was impressed with - the size of the french fries - seriously guys, they were loooooooong. Size matters, eh? lol

Have been spending a good amout of quality time with my amazing cousin, her half crazy (ok, full crazy) hubby & her parents who’re holidaying in India presently. Here’s a pic of the lot of us:

(Click to enlarge)

Went to Poison (the very chic night club situated on the ground floor of the same building Seijo’s at) for a special party. Had my name on an “entry by invite only” list, thanks only to the gentleman friend who was escorting me (ty, ty). Was a very la-di-dah affair. Filled with all sorts of sexy people. Was specially impressed with Kunal Kapoor - though one girlfriend of mine thinks he’s “yuck” - I though he behaved himself perfectly, especially compared to some of the other stars present.

Zayed Khan? Now that’s another story. Zayed (wearing black sun shades inside the dark place) after getting suitably loaded on whatever he was doing, went up to the DJ’s place & was jumping and waving his hands about & generally showing everyone he was an actor who was very very high. Ok we believe you Zayed. On the positive side, he’s super-crazy-sexy-gorgeous. Really, really.

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I have lots to say. I only don’t have the time to say it all right now.

It will come, I’ll find the time.

Is it only me or is it the scariest thing imaginable - Lalu Prasad Yadav as a future Prime Minister of India?? Yet, according to one of his latest interviews, that’s just what he wants!

The interview which will be aired on NDTV 24×7 at 9.30 pm today has our great Laluji saying the most hilarious things including the line which partially gives me the shivers…

‘I want to become the prime minister for sure. But, I will not quarrel for it. No matter which corner of the country I go, people always greet me, ‘Oh Lalu, aye Lalu.’ It’s the greatest of blessings, people love me.’

Kya bole hum?

Oh Lalu, aye Lalu.

It’s a sad day in June (November, whatever) when your boss summons you and tells you “Spend more time working and less time blogging”. Sigh. There’s no use pretending. They’re everywhere. They know everything. Where’s Mulder?

Nonsense aside (hah!) my life is really moving too fast for me to blog. Last week was a “every night is a party night” week. Am happy to report, age notwithstanding, am still upto working 13 hour days (do not double-check this with ze boss, you unbeliever, you) and partying through the night.

Managed to go to a new restaurant called ‘Barbeque Factory’. And yes, thought exactly what you’re thinking right now - didn’t I already go there, like a few days ago? Well, no. That was Barbeque Nation. See, one’s Nation and the other’s Factory yes, intense.

Unfortunately, the name’s where the disparity ends. The all-you-can-eat buffet costs the same. The starters are much the same. The main course is much the same. The dessert may have included an extra chocolate (merci beaucoup!) but la-di-dah. Am so not a fan of eating at the same place twice in a row and this is what it felt like. Will not review because you can check out the review of other place to find out what this one’s like.

Will be kind to your eyes and post some pics though

Decor of Main areas of restaurant

High Platforms for side seating. Very chic indeed.

And me, going, awww, Who, Me Pose?

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Would rather write a post titled “Why I do not like Memes” or another one “Please do not tag me”. Unfortunately, I have to do this seemingly endless meme based of the number four. Why it was chosen I don’t know (maybe because it was the number between 3 and 5?). hmm.

Four Reasons why I do not like Memes (not part of the original meme)
• It annoys you when you feel you “have to” blog about something when not really inclined to
• It forces you to divulge all sorts of information about yourself leaving you with two options (a) divulge when you didn’t want to (b) lie. I don’t like either option
• Most memes are usually stupid and make you do stupid things like “Go count the number of songs on your iPod” or something equally ridiculous that I have no time for.
• Every meme ends with “Tag – other people” and since I hate being tagged, I hate tagging others (because surely there are others who think like I do).

Anyway, all that (somewhat) out of my system, let me give this meme a go:

Four jobs you’ve had in your life
• Assistant Editor (will not mention the name of the magazine as I fear the mighty Google)
• Gofer (Seriously. That’s where I learned to multitask)
• Clothes-Ironer. Ok, not a job job, but I did charge people money in my house to iron their clothes hence it should count. So there.
• The job of writing about four jobs I’ve had in such a manner that I don’t lie and yet don’t really reveal any information on any jobs I’ve really had. Hmm.

Four jobs you wish you had
Lovely, SOOO much easier! I pretty much want to do everything anyway.
• Writer. Not that I don’t already write. Just that someone would actually have to pay me to write. And hopefully someone else would pay to read.
• Male-Model Co-ordinator, so I could meet lots of cute guys. aahhh.
• Gourmet Chef, so I could go (moving hands in chopping motion) and cut long things up really quickly. Also wish I could whip up a dish out of seemingly waste materials. Or that I could have a bite of something and be able to define every single thing in it.
• Astronaut. Hairstylist. Artist. Astronomer. Singer. Dancer. Actor. Dramatist.

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