A Letter from my Archives

I’m not sure how many of you know this, but I spent two years (2002 & 2003) of my life doing full time ministry in a Catholic Ashram dedicated to helping Catholics find their spiritual roots.

When I got the “call” to join the Ashram full time, no one was more surprised than I. I did of course, accept it in faith as what the Lord wanted me to do. Praise God my parents were also broadminded enough to let me do as my heart led. Suffice to say all my friends & family were not on the same page. My parents & I received every reaction possible to my decision from highly positive to highly negative.

I was just going through the Sent Mail folder in my email archives & I dug out this letter I’d written in response to a lot of questions a very close friend had asked me.

I have deleted a few bits to keep his name & details private but other than that, the letter is as I’d written. It is also amazing to see in retrospect that the time period was true.

My entire life has been a fun ride, praise God, and I thought I’d share some of this personal side of me with you guys (since I share so much of the other social nonsense!):

To *** whom I miss dearly,

It’s very sad that I must start all my letters with an apology for the delay in response, but I hope that the fact that the times I access the net are few are far between, will exonerate me.

I didn’t want to send a group mail in reply to those who replied to my last group mail about me joining full time ministry of the Lord. That was because I was so blessed to receive so many Amazing letters of encouragement, blessings and of course, total shock, that I couldn’t possible justify a reply in group.

So hence the personal mail! This having been decided, it was virtually impossible to find the time to write all the mail I had to, as you are aware of my inability to keep mail short. Especially when I write to someone like you

Hmmm. First in reply to your mail-

Qs 1: How does one receive a call?
Ans1: This is a toughie. It’s like asking - how does one fall in love? You know when you know that you know. I can’t explain in words how Jesus spoke to me - it was not an audible voice that I heard, but it was clear and it wasn’t mine. Sorry, that’s as close to it as I can get.

Qs 2:How does one know one has received a call?
Ans2:If you pray regularly and train yourself to sit quietly before the Lord (without even thinking anything) but ask Him to talk to you - and He will - and eventually it will become easier and easier for you to discern which voice is His and which is yours.

Qs 3 & 4:When will u come back ? and does tht mean u will be like gonna live there permanently?
Ans 3 & 4: Have absolutely no idea. The call I got from the Lord was confirmed by four other people who got individual messages at different times without knowing of the other people’s msgs. Two of them got a time frame. One was the director of the Ashram - who got two years.

The other was my councellor during councelling who got one year. Only after she told me she got the exact same msg that the director & I had got separately, did I clue her into them, but she maintained that she got only a one year span, but after a year they would pray and ask for new direction.

I myself did not get any time frame and am happy living on the Lord. Personally though I am pretty sure I am Not going to be here permanently, feel positive that the Lord has some plans for me and this is just a pruning and moulding stage for something yet to come. I still have a looooong way to go!

Qs 5: Will u not get into any relationship/get married (understanding that depends on the right person)
Ans 5: Not sure about this either as it all depends on the Lord (ref - ans 3&4). I am open to all the options He has given me, which I categorize as - Getting married / remaining single / and yes, even becoming a nun! Rest assured, that I will inform you well in advance should the first or third option become a reality. Otherwise you can continue assuming I’m at option 2.

Qs 6: Does that mean u are like on yor way to becoming a prophet/saint/preacher?
Ans 6: All of Christ’s children are called to be saints and to preach the good news to everyone. Trouble is that most of us either are unaware of our Biblical calling or just plain unaware of how to do it. Not everyone is called to do full time ministry but you can be a saint and a preacher living very much in the secular world and doing any secular job, having kids and the entire gammut.
As for the prophet part, I pray that I get the gift of prophecy, but that’s really upto the Giver of the gift to decide.

Qs 7:Why do u need permission to read/answer your email ….surely we all need our own time ( even God would agree with that)…maybe u can fill the people who run the place in on that one.
Ans 7: Agree with you (& I’m sure God does too on the latter. The reason for the former, is that there isn’t 24 hrs. internet connectivity at the ashram and it is too expensive right now to think of getting it. We have so many ministries functioning at present (including giving free food etc to poor people) that the expense would not be justified at all.
Add that to the fact that the the team members number around a 100 regular live in, and tons of part timers & volunteers, they would have to have some sort of cyber cafe! And as I explained earlier that’s not possible because of the money thingie.

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Now, regarding what I’ve been upto! This would take really long to relate as my days start at 5.30am and end at 11pm on an average and it’s been months now – so there’s obviously lots of activity

Don’t know if I’ve mentioned before (but just in case), at present I’m in the Music Ministry where I sing and play (keyboards for the time being, am trying to convince one of the drummers to let me have a go at it!) for the English retreats (we have several simultaneous retreats in different languages). I do occasionally sing a hymn in Hindi (always with another, never solo), but due to my terrific command of the language (& I speak in complete sarcasm), they are as common as my Internet access.

In the month of May and also first week of June, we had lots of children who accompanied their parents and so had a separate children’s retreat every week, where I would sing with the kids – action songs (I think I enjoyed them more than the kiddos) and also take class.

Now that school has started, kiddies are almost unseen in the Ashram and the few that are, are usually too tiny to separate from their parents forget about teaching anything.

I now have been officially been put on the editorial board of the ashram’s magazine and that’s pretty much a full time job in itself – so with the singing I hardly have time to do anything else.

I do make time however to study my Bible everyday and am also at present reading a fabulous book called the “Ladder of Divine Ascent” by St. John Climacus, which I completely recommend to anyone interested in Spiritual growth (it is not a baby book however, so if you’ve had no experience in the renewal, it perhaps is not a good option to start with).

Am also trying desperately to update the ashram’s website but it’s not happening for some reason or the other. Will let you know when that happens.

Also my personal website is not yet up, due to the fact that I never meet or speak with my web guy (or anyone else for that matter, sigh) but am also trying to get that up by my mid-July latest. When it’s up you’ll have a better idea of what I’ve been upto, if you have the time (& inclination) to read my weekly accounts, which I’ve been faithfully keeping despite the lack of a website to upload it on.

Must sign off now. Hope the lack of brevity makes up for the lack of decency reg. the time taken in replying to your mail.

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Love & God bless,