Was reading my Bible as I usually do last thing before sleeping. My primary Bible is the Catholic Women’s Devotional Bible, which (in addition to the Sacred Scripture) has lots of tidbits for Women etc. Tonight read this little piece by Sarah E. Hinlicky and was so touched by it, got right out of bed, started up the comp again & typed it all out for you to read:
Perhaps virginity seems a bit cold, even haughty and heartless. But virginity hardly has exclusive claim on those defects, if it has any claims at all. Promiscuity offers a significantly worse fate. I have a very dear friend who, sadly, is more worldly-wise than I am. By libertine standards she ought to be proud of her conquests and ready for more, but frequently she isn’t.
The most telling insight about the shambles of her heart came to me once in a phone conversation when we were speculating about our futures. Generally they are filled with exotic travel and adventure and Ph.D’s. This time, however, they were not. She admitted to me that what she really wanted was to be living on a farm in rural Connecticut raising a horde of children and embroidering tea-towels. It is a lovely dream, defiantly unambitious and domestic.
But her short, failed sexual relationships haven’t taken her any closer to her dream and have left her little hope that she’ll ever attain it.
I must be honest here: Virginity hasn’t landed me on a farm in rural Connecticut, either. Sexual innocence is not a guarantee against heartbreak But there is a crucial difference here: I haven’t lost a part of myself to someone who has subsequently spurned it, rejected it, and perhaps never cared for it at all.
I sincerely hope that virginity will not be a lifelong project for me. Quite the contrary, my subversive commitment to virginity serves as preparation for another commitment, for loving one man completely and exclusively. Admittedly, there is a minor frustration: I haven’t met the man yet (at least not to my knowledge). But hope, which does not dissapoint, sustains me.
I totally identify with everything Ms. Hinlicky says (especially the last part, how edifying!).
I also believe that in today’s world it’s ridiculous to expect everyone to be virgins. Thus I am fully prepared for the fact that my future husband may not have “saved himself” for me. That doesn’t matter in the least bit to me (mercifully I’m not Khushboo or Sania Mirza, or I might be taken to task for saying these things!).
I believe what ultimately matters is, that the past remain in the past. That commitment is true. And that love is real.
So what am I really saying here - am I pro-virginity or not? Definitely I’m pro-virginity (it is a Divine law for us Catholics & Christians) but if you’re a virgin: praise God! Don’t try to lose it. And if you’re not: praise God! don’t give away yourself anymore.
Like Ms. Hinlicky says “commitment to virginity (or at least celibacy from this point on - for those who no longer are) serves as preparation for another commitment, for loving one man (or woman) completely and exclusively”
My personal view on virginity is that if I myself, I’ll bless my future marriage.
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December 1st, 2005 at 12:03 pm
To be or not…I guess that is always going to be a very personal choice. I mean for whatever reasons…religious or otherwise…whether you want to save it or not…i guess what matters is that at the end of the end of the day you can look into the mirror and see someone who is not ridden with guillt of what has happened.
December 1st, 2005 at 12:49 pm
Virginity is over rated. I guess it is used selectively to blackmail women, which is a shame.
I second Alex. To be or not… should always be a very personal choice.
December 1st, 2005 at 7:57 pm
Not judging you guys or your opinions, just speaking from the Church’s point of view.
December 2nd, 2005 at 1:46 pm
I love the Word of God & it tells us to be holy cuz His spirit wants to live inside us. God does not want us to defile our bodies by sinning and loosing our virginity, living holy is a life style & its amazing cuz ur connected with God.
God Bless
December 2nd, 2005 at 2:33 pm
December 7th, 2005 at 2:59 am
to be or not…always a personal choice and so is the thought of who/what/ God is …. and the funny part in melody`s words saying :” god gave us free will”…. and “choices made based on the word of God will bless you”. thank you. even though im not an christian or any other religius believer, im blessed!!
cause my God, is love, and God is so big, that a billion of books, would never describe the greatness …
For 6 years i went to an adventistic school, those people believd that God took a break on the 6th day,saturday, and a lot of other things. but when i got 11/12 years old, i started asking questions which could not be answered “good enough”, cause i questioned the questions answers…. so, i went out of that place, with quriosity and a hunger for experiences and answers of what life is all about.. and i dont regret it.. im not an antagonist of whatever you believe, or whatever people say is the truth, (cause in my oppinion the “truth” is everything and nothing, and do always change…) people do whatever they`ve gotta do to “survive”… its up to them,as long as they are nice and caring with each other…
but im an antagonist of not asking questions…
Don`t you ever question what you read in the bible? or why this or that? or do you calmly except whatever the Book says, cause you belive that these persons know what theyre talking about?
December 7th, 2005 at 6:44 am
I’m glad you’re blessed, praise God.
This post was not intended to raise controversy, this is my blog, where I write about stuff that goes through my head.
You have every right to agree or disagree with what I write here!
I will however answer all your questions (& more if you like) in a proper setting. http://community.glorify-god.com You can register for free.
December 7th, 2005 at 5:30 pm
hey melody!
of course, your site is about your thoughts and i`m not to raise any controversy in your blog!
I`m sorry, i got a little up hill last night…cause i think its very interesting to disguss everything between earth and univers..and beyond that..
have an nice day!!
(im sitting in denmark, so the clock says 1:03 pm
sofie
December 8th, 2005 at 10:11 am
February 14th, 2006 at 3:44 pm
It does’nt say anywere in the Bible that Premarital sex is a sin. Adultery on the other hand is clearly a sin since it is clearly mentioned in the ten commandments. Please correct me if I am wrong.
February 14th, 2006 at 3:52 pm
oops! I missed the proper setting part you mentioned in your comments (http://community.glorify-god.com ). Will register at the link you mentioned to discuss this subject.
February 14th, 2006 at 10:53 pm
August 17th, 2006 at 3:15 am
Just wanted to add a bit as many people(especially gals) might end up reading this.
I being a guy and having discussed and interacted with many a guys at different levels, I feel man is a big hypocrite when he says gals can choose if they wanna be a virgin or not at marriage cause the moment a man starts searching for a gal he more than tries to find out if the gal is a virgin or not cause basically even if the man paints the town red saying he doesnt care if the gal’s a virgin, deep in his heart he always desires and wants and hopes that he gets a virgin wife.
As for the reason man go around saying they dont care if u a virgin may be two fold:either he wants to sleep with his galfriend saying virginity is a non-issue or he is a man who understands that many a gals have been dumped by their earlier boyfriends after taking advantage of them with the hope that the gal will love him after marriage.
You can include me in the hypocrite list too cause even though I have refrained from hitting the bed with a gal I feel its difficult to get virgins in these times, when too many of the gals are more desperate for an affair than the guys. Guess peer pressure affects gals more than guys to do bad things.
August 17th, 2006 at 10:52 am
Denzil, This is all happening in India, my parents give me whole different idea saying premarital sex takes place only in western societies.
August 21st, 2006 at 8:29 pm
@ Rahul: Yes, unfortunately India is not far behind the West in terms of immorality. In fact sometimes I think it’s a lot worse.
August 22nd, 2006 at 7:37 am
“immorality” just a different perspective.
August 22nd, 2006 at 8:05 pm
“Qui est veritas?” (”What is truth?”)… eternally asked. Blessed are those who know the answer.
August 23rd, 2006 at 5:25 am
Moral compass always changes as time passes, What was considered a sin in the past may not be a sin in the present. Where do you look for truth?
August 23rd, 2006 at 9:55 am
You however are free to your own opinion - it is a free world!
In any case, if you don’t mind, I rather not discuss this further here, do see my comment #7. Be blessed.
August 23rd, 2006 at 10:59 am
Melody
I registered in the above link as you mentioned seems like great site to discuss religion. However, I was looking for this particular topic and it seems like you haven’t posted this on that site. How do we discuss?
July 14th, 2007 at 8:12 pm
quote unquote:
“Virginity is not dignity…not security…or not a sign of purity…It is simply lack of opportunity….”
- William SexFear
Ironic, isn’t it?
I’m with Sakshi on this one–completely.
March 26th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Like ur style girl n totally agree with you