Why?

Well, the Lord Jesus Christ just spoke to me (and I can understand that those of you who don’t believe in God or communication with God will not get where I’m coming from, but well.) and He said, “Come”

So, I’m leaving - like Peter, who brought his boat to the shore and then left everything to follow Him (cf Luke 5:11)

This whole thing is kinda weird - even for someone like me, who back in 2002 just upped and went to an Ashram where I was for 2 years - you didn’t know? well, read this (ha! I’m leaving and can’t cut the blogging instinct to link!)

Anyway as I was saying, this is not something I was expecting - in fact as you’ll know I’ve just re-themed, not only this blog, but even my travel blog (re-themed today itself - for the first time since I started it in 2005 - I mean seriously) and I even confirmed a guest blogger to travel write on that. And, and, and, and. So many ideas, so many things I thought I wanted to do.

I love to blog - and it’s weird, I actually started blogging when I left for the Ashram, as a way for family and friends to remain connected to me. But I guess there comes a time in one’s life when one must prioritize.

He’s spoken - and now I don’t want to do anything but follow Him.

I know this is where I need to be - away from everything worldly for sometime - the internet, the parties, so many things that are not necessarily bad - but have been eating up way too much of my time - which I will now spend with Him, figuring out where He wants me to go.

I perhaps will be back, perhaps not. I’ll know when I know.

Until then, thank you, every single last one of you, it’s been fun. If I can leave you with one last piece of me, it should be this - whatever you do, do it passionately. I love the Lord Jesus Christ - and I’ve been too lukewarm too long. But, no more.

Be still, my soul, be still!
what you are going through is God’s will.
You are in His hands and under His care,
so be still, my soul, be still!

Hush, oh my heart, just hush!
for there is no reason to rush.
Just follow His will, belong to Him still,
and hush, dear heart, just hush!

(c) Monica Davis

I did today - and let me tell you, I wasn’t happy at all meeting her. But perhaps I should start at the beginning.

One of my closest friends is a guy named Cal. He’s as diametrically opposite to me as they come. Quiet, unassuming, ridiculously talented, doing well in life, yet simple and completely unworldly. He calls himself a “birder” (yes, I laughed at him the first time he said it) and enjoys going on hikes (why anyone would want to carry heavy loads on their backs & then walk uphill, to sleep on unclean surfaces is still a mystery to me!) and derives great pleasure in taking photographs of wild animals mating. Ok, perhaps the last thing isn’t entirely true, but you get the picture.

Sometime not too long ago Cal told me that he was off again “exploring”. I didn’t pay too much attention to it as he’s always off on some hike or the other almost every other weekend. However as the days neared for his trip (this one was to be a full blown 2 week thingie rather than the weekend things he usually does) I started getting a little concerned.

Why?

Because he was off to Srinagar, Leh, Ladakh, Kargil and other such places.

He left early Sunday morning - and suddenly all the unrest in Srinagar has become very personal to me.

Suddenly I find myself worried, praying, seriously anxious about Pakistan Army troops crossing violating the ceasefire along the LoC.

Suddenly I find myself reading up on so many places - are they safe? Is there unrest anywhere there? What’s in the news about this place right now?

(sign at Kashmir LoC - ‘Victory is still Measured by Foot’)

And then it struck me. Dear old I-thought-I-was-a-patriot me.

Me & Patriotic? Why of course!, I would have said earlier. I would proudly tell anyone that I am an Indian (except perhaps during certain long flights back to India with other Indian passengers). I stand still, not moving, my hands firm by my side for the Jana Gana Mana before every movie I watch in ridiculously overpriced Mumbai multiplexes. I inwardly grimace at some who cross their arms or who sit down too quickly during the anthem. I support our sports team, whatever the sport, ah how I was happy with Abhinav Bindra winning gold at the Olympics.

And all this went towards making me a good patriotic India. Or so I thought.

Until Hal went to Srinagar - and until I realized - horrified at my own hypocrisy - that I really didn’t care to even bother to pray for our troops before this.

As I read up in today’s papers about Pakistan violating the 2003 ceasefire agreement between India & Pakistan along the LoC - I found out that this has happened 22 times since just January this year. I realised that I didn’t even remember reading about the other 21 times - and if I did, I just didn’t bother because the ones who died weren’t known to me.

And I shudder. Because I realise each of our troops have mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, lovers and friends.

They have lives, each of them is important to someone, many someones. Each one of them is someone’s Cal.

I meet the hypocrite that is me. I see her, thinking she is a good Indian because she knows the words to the National Anthem and because she cheers for the national team. But she doesn’t really care for the troops who’re protecting her country - she’s an urban brat, far removed from the military life of the north.

She has meetings to go to, parties to attend, blogs to write, photos to upload. Her friends have loads planned for the “long Independence weekend” that is coming up. She always plans ahead for those too.

I’m now looking at her and she is particularly loathsome to me. Superficial, hypocritical and non patriotic.

And the worst thing about it all, is that I don’t quite know how to change her.

I don’t know how, but I do know that I want to.

I don’t want to care about people who’re dying only when I know one of them. I don’t want to pray only when it’s someone I love. I don’t want not to read and not to know until it’s personal.

I don’t want to celebrate another Independence Day oblivious of what was done and was is being done to preserve our lives as we know it.

Here’s wishing you all a very happy Independence Day in advance. Here’s to the men who made it happen and who still protect us with their lives.

“I may sweat and might bleed,
But will not bow to their greed,
Yet my promises I shall keep,
Till, towards immortality, I take a leap.
Light of the experienced, the old,
And spirit of the young, the bold.
Have it all I need, to put…
Victory is still measured on foot!”
~ Lieutenant Praveen Bahl

—
Update: Cal not only made it back safely (praise God), but he also started a blog to share his (amazing) pictures with the rest of us. Check out his blog here.

to this:

Yes, after a time of needing bland, I need a slight dash of color again.

He’s with the Hindustan Times, which was doing an article on Women Bloggers and some of the negative issues the deal with. The outcome of that photoshoot was this (unphotoshopped pic, I might add!) in today’s Hindustan Times (Delhi):

(click to enlarge & read)

(click on pics to enlarge)

Q: And Paris?
Mell: Well, to be honest, after Switzerland, Paris was a bit of a let down. Not that it isn’t beautiful - it is! It’s got it’s own special charm & history. I loved the Louvre - could have spent a week in there itself - it’s just that I wouldn’t recommend anyone going anywhere after Switzerland - keep it for the end.

(click on pic to enlarge)

Q: Did you take pics?
Mell: Is my name Melody?

Q: hahah.. ok, so do we get to see these? On Facebook? on the Blog?
Mell: Yeah, will put up 2 albums on Facebook (Switzerland is done, France as soon as I get some more time). As for the blog, can’t put up too many pics, but definetely will put Some up… I have a special heart for my blog readers too…

Q: SUCH BULL!! You haven’t blogged for the longest time!
Mell: No, no, it’s true. Just that I’ve been busy. With the whole Europe trip, my party - and work’s been crazy since all that…

Q: Hey yeah!! You turned 30, you old cow!!!
Mell: Yeah Ok, can’t resist showing you a picture:

(click on pic to enlarge)

I had the best party ever! It was a purple and pink themed party and in honor of the Princess (yours truly!). I didn’t have too much time to plan it, sent invitations before I left & literally came back to Bombay *one day* (whew!) before the party!! But, it was fabulous - everyone who I wanted to be there, was there, and we all had a blast, partying into the weeee hours of the next day! AND I was gorgeous, no?

Q: As usual.
Mell: Blush

Q: You - are such a narcissistic!
Mell: But an honest one, so some credit please

Q: Sigh. What else’s been happening?
Mell: Lots. But mostly work stuff. Can’t explain it all on the blog, since I dont really discuss my work there, but it’s been crazy. Mostly due to the fact that I took off for a bit (what’s with the after the r&r you get jacked bit?!) but also other stuff which came out of the blue and socked me in the eye. That being said though, God is AMAZING - I’ve an amazing testimony on how He saved my day on Tuesday, when I completely messed up. He made it all alright.

Q: Ok. And - what about the man scene? Seriously Mell, you’re like 30 now! Shouldn’t you be serious about this for once in your life?
Mell: Dude! I so am serious! Can I help it if I haven’t seen any choice meat? Listen, I’m not worried and neither should you be. Besides my proposal series makes for interesting reading on my blog, no?!

Q: Yes, if you were really updating your blog! What about movies/restaurants, anything interesting?
Mell: Will update, will update, promise!! About movies, I’m so psyched!!! Lots of great stuff happening in Bombay at present. Went to see Hancock, with a REALLY fun guy - we played air hockey before the movie and though I lost (just by ‘that’ much though) I had such great fun! I haven’t had the time to catch either Kung Fu Panda or The Dark Knight yet - but everyone’s been raving about them both, so yeah, lots of see & do.

(random shot off the net)

Q: Restaurants?
Mell: Same old, same old mostly. Checked out a new (vegetarian) Falafel place in Bandra, but didn’t like it much really. Have decided I’m not a chick pea person. And that I need my meat

Q: Seriously. Such crap talk from the thirty year old virgin…
Mell: If ONE more person calls me that I’ll scream.

Q: No you won’t. You proclaim it loudly on your blog. You’re proud of it, aren’t you?!
Mell: Well in a way yeah. And why not? Ok, let’s move on.

Q: No, let’s not!
Mell: erm.. have to go now.. work calls… See you around soon…

So, here I am, trying to convince you, my dear dear dear darling thevoiceinmyhead.com; as much as I’ve neglected you & my commenters in the recent past, as perhaps not upto your high standards as recents posts may have been - and as much time as I’ve spent on Facebook recently - TVIMH, I do love you.

I love you very very very much. Really, really.

There have been SO many (so many!) times in the recent past I’ve wanted to post about stuff - like the time I “discovered” Pot Pourri has fabulous breakfasts - in fact it’s become my new favorite brekky place (I’ve done Crepe Station to death)..

Like all the stuff I want to tell you about my new favorite male-friend-in-a-supporting-role (deyamm you lead actor, where the bloody hell are you?) - he’s British (rather old fashioned & grandfatherly) and on occasion buys me African Daisies Oh, ho-hum & hurray!

Like when I saw ‘Get Smart’ and I wanted to tell everyone to go see, it was SUCH a fabulously fun movie. Oh, how I laughed. Laughed, laughed, laughed. I still have this nigling (is that a word? hmmm) doubt however, that they censored a bit of the movie… Anyway I enjoyed it despite that - and despite the loss of hundreds of my hard earned paisas (ok, the date’s paisas) that went into the Rs. 180/- popcorn at Metro Adlabs late late night show (seriously, it is just me or is popcorn at all our theaters becoming RIDICULOUSLY expensive???)

Or like the time I wanted to post about how because our President Pratibha Patil decided to visit Mumbai - they STOPPED ALL THE TRAFFIC (seriously WTHECK?????) - for hours on end. I waited for exactly 25 minutes on my way to the city in the morning (from 11.05 to 11.30am) and for about 45 mins on the way back in the evening (rush hour, 5 onwards) and I’m thinking:

BLOODY HELL, seriously.
Why can’t the President be FLOWN in from the airport to the city in a helicopter? There’s a helipad at the Mantralaya (& other places too in the city) and if someone’s important enough to stop traffic completely for hours, then they should be flown in! It’ll be faster for them and it won’t inconvenience the entire city.
I mean, seriously, how bloody inconsiderate. I don’t care if you’re the President of the country - you have no right to disrupt anyone’s work schedules. It’s just not right.
And in rush hour too? Seriously, you should have seen it - one side of the road jammed with cars, miles & miles & miles & miles on end. The other side perfectly clear.
And I counted the entourage: 42 CARS. Seriously, I kid you not. 42 BLOODY CARS.
For this, we have to wait. While madam and her 42 cars pass by roads that have been “cleansed” & cleared for hours ahead.
If I was the President of India - I’d be ashamed that I was whizzing past miles & miles of people I had inconvenienced (imagine those without air con cars or those in taxis paying by the meter!) - I’d use the power I had to do something about it. Either helicopter or travel in the night or early morning.

(click on the image above to enlarge & see the miles of jammed cars & the empty road on the other side).

So you see darling blog - I had this whole post planned - see I took pics & everything - notwithstanding the hawaldar who questioned me and told me to stop. I was thinking about you & only you all the time (Facebook, who facebook? Arey yaar, sheesh.)

I thought of you VERY much when someone told me recently that I was “ruining my chances” of finding a nice boy to marry me since I blog so much. I though, what the hell - “love me, love my blog”. And if you don’t, heck, I don’t want to marry you. Sorrbloodyrey. I wrote out this whole post in my head & I even thought of great title - “I blog therefore I am, single”. It was a great post. Unfortunately I just didn’t get down to typing it down.

So you see darling blog - it’s not that I don’t love you - or that I’ve replaced you by anyone else online - no, no, never! Perish the thought!

It’s just that I’ve been slightly busy. You know, I have to go out, earn my daily wage to pay for your hosting and your url and the fancy Manolo Blahnik shoes you like (ok, perhaps that last one was just for me, and only in my fantasies. Sigh, but you get the drift). I’ve been busy, but it’s all for you. It’s always been all for you.

And I hope this rather loooong post has made up for my seeming lack of affection recently.

No?

Gosh, you are quite the drama blog aren’t you?

Ok, here’s something more just for you. Some breaking news!

I’m off to Switzerland for a bit - and then onto France. Not too long, just a little holiday - but enough for you to miss me some more before I come back & fill you up on a regular basis. Quality AND Quantity, baby, you have my word.

I promise you, I’ll miss you VERY VERY VERY much. And I also promise you I’ll give you all the khabbar when I return.

AND - I’ll also throw in a photo of me for free. To heck with the people who tell me my feeds are high only because I post photos of myself. I happen to think I write pretty decently. See how much of insults I take on your behalf blog? How much I am spat at & humiliated - and yet, undaunted, I continue to blog being true to who I am and write & post the way I like to? See, see, see??

(the precious pup incidentally isn’t mine, he’s belongs to a friend & his name is ‘Reo’, awww)

So you forgive me darling blog?

You do?

Can we have make up sex now? (heck, I’m not getting any offline anyway).

And seriously, to heck with all of those ppl who called me up after one of my recent posts & said WHOA, seriously, you prude you, what the heck are you blogging about?! To heck with them, I say.

I want you blog.

Now!

Thank you God, I know every little thing’s gonna be alright. Every little thing’s gonna be alright.

I say “reading”, but the truth is that I took my time studying the book. I devoured every page of this book slowly and meticulously - underlining, highlighting and making notes - each page was a goldmine of ideas and facts written in Joyce’s straight talk and humouress way.

I think the best thing about the book, is that it is Simple and Practical. Each of the 28 chapters bring out truths which Joyce explains so simply, yet so powerfully, that I guarantee it will change your life if you truly follow them.

I have recently ordered Joyce’s Battlefield of the Mind, which I’ve been told by tons of people is also worth it’s weight in gold. Will review when I’m done.

Meanwhile, I’m placing this book in my top 3 Christian books (the other two being Fulton J. Sheen’s ‘Life of Christ’ & Merlin Carothers’s ‘Power in Praise’) that you MUST read - and re-read regularly - in order to fully absorb the wealth of information and truth and in order for them to change your life for the better.

More information on the book here.

I’m not.

In fact, I’m antisuperstitious, if that were indeed a term. If I see a ladder; I walk under it, if find a black cat; I pet it, if it’s Friday the 13th; I’m quite ridiculously happy

This is because I firmly believe all superstitions have evolved out of things which at some time in the past were just common sense. For example, the superstition about not cutting your nails after dark or something “bad” will happen, probably was due to the fact in ancient times there was no electricity. Add to that whatever they were using to cut their nails couldn’t have been too high tech, it’s understandable why they would want to avoid cutting their nails after dark! Perhaps someone with a missing digit added to it all.. “See Mr. Onefingerless? You’ll become like him if you cut your nails after dark!”

Being antisuperstitious is not always appreciated though.

I have been banned from watching cricket with the family - unless I solemnly swear not to say “Wow, he’s batting brilliantly!” for fear I might jinx him. Because apparently, the batsman, who is only just a few thousand miles away, in the middle of a stadium full of several thousand screaming fans, can hear my every word - and then he’s going to choose to do the opposite of what I say.

I am also not allowed to comment in the car “How empty the roads are!” (though seriously in Mumbai city, how often are we going to get a chance to say that anyway?!) for similar stupid brilliant reasons.

While I am thus censured however, I find no lack of people who continually use the phrase “touch wood” ostensibly to ward to evil spirits, but in my opinion just out of habit. These are the same people who say something, then look all around desperately for some wood to touch, fine none & then touch their heads. Yes, you know what I’m talking about. Heck, you probably do the same thing yourself, be honest now, wood-head you.

Back to me though, my “triumph” over superstition came one Friday the 13th, twelve years ago. There was this really cute pilot who wanted to date me, who’d call and call and be upset that I never called him back. He was ridiculously superstitious and refused to fly on that date or stay in a hotel on the 13th floor or anything of that sort. Incidentally, any of you notice that most five star hotels don’t have a 13th floor? They go from 12 to 14 - so my ridiculous pilot would then refuse to stay on the 14th floor also. Sigh.

Anyhoo, one Friday the 13th, early in the morning I did call him up, for the first time - and he was just so thrilled by the fact I had called, he forgot it was Friday the 13th. He had a brilliant day - and just before it ended we spoke again & I told him what date it was - and he swore to me I had “cured” him of all superstition.

Of course, I should have waited the full 24 hours before telling him, because an aunt of his died an hour after I called him that night and he insists it wasn’t a good day after all. Small lived victories.

So now, while I continue to be my antisuperstitious best, I don’t try to convert anyone around me anymore. I even manage to tell all my theatrical friends to break their legs before performances - how kind of me, indeed.

So today, I wish you all a very happy Friday the 13th. May you be as scared, as safe, as sorry as you want to be. Touch wood.

(Sarah Jessica Parker at the New York Premier)

The movie was two and a half hours long - which for someone who doesn’t watch Hindi films, is ridiculously long to sit inside a theater for - but the entire story is so well written and so in keeping with the series and the hearts of the characters, that the time just flew by.

Add to that more than plenty of other stuff that I went to see the movie for - the awesome female bonding between the four lead girls, the amazing clothes, shoes, bags & other things designer and lots of wedding couture (ah! I’m in heaven, seriously!!).

There wasn’t much sex in the city (what do you expect with our Indian censor boards - who incidentally have chopped the film so ridiculously noticeably).

However there was plenty of love. And plenty of forgiveness. Which if you really think about it, are the only two things which sustain any relationship.

I wasn’t a die-hard fan of the series like a lot of people I know - in fact some of the raunchy episodes quite put off my prudish self - however I loved the movie! In fact I’m sure even real die-hard fans who’ve had high expectations for the film will not be disappointed; it’s *that* good.

(click on pic to enlarge)

My beautiful “date” and I enjoyed the film thoroughly - we giggled and laughed out loud (& silently cried) together as only girls can do when watching a girly film.

We both dressed up for the film - I wore a satiny dress as a tribute to Carrie (& Sarah Jessica Parker), while my friend dressed rather Charlotte York-ish. I also wore brilliantly sexy Calvin Klein underwear.

I mention the underwear because after the movie we went to Vistas, at Taj Land End, where I had a very Marilyn Monroe-esq episode - with my dress flying completely up - yes indeed, I was glad I wore the lovely underwear

Couple of hours, coffee and conversation later, we left for home (my dress firmly tucked down with all my strenght) and I was happy.

And as I’m typing this, the only thing I’m really thinking is that love is a wonderful thing. I know it’s coming to me real soon, I can just feel it

At long last, lasting love.